Sorry to rain atop your parade, my friend, but this investigation has proven that Rocky Balboa is, of course, of the ancient bloodline of Jesus and the Magdalen. How else would he “rise from the dead” so often in the ring, a miracle each time he does it. His caring for Paulie, Adrian, for all creatures great and small, and his amazing ability to float up the stairs of the Philadelphia Museum of Art, he can only be of the line of the King of Kings.
Flying high now, eye of the tiger (wasn’t Mary of Magdaline’s eye known as the “look of the tigeress”?), and an uncanny need to drink raw eggs (see “Jesus wept”, a report on Jesus’ quest for the perfect omelet) all convince scholars that Rocky Balboa, not quite human, descends from a long line of epics, and is himself a sequal to those who came before.
“...this investigation has proven that Rocky Balboa is, of course, of the ancient bloodline of Jesus and the Magdalen...”
Throw in a little Rambo, and you can explain the theology from “Talladega Nights”:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5A0-u85aAYg