[VRWCmember]

will it feel like Charmin or the NYT (which is, of course, far more suitable for the job, even if it doesn’t feel right)?

No, the NYT is already so full of $#!+ that it is completely useless to TP. It will leave more on you than it takes off.

[cspackler]

No, the NYT is already so full of $#!+ that it is completely useless to TP. It will leave more on you than it takes off.

You've heard of John Wayne toilet paper, right?

It don't take sh!t off nobody!