Israel Bissell outrode Paul Revere, yet didn't get a poem

Associated Press WHDH ^ | 4-14-07 | Anon

[sig226]

Nah, he got stuck in traffic at a ten cart pile up in New Haven. Even in 1776, people could not understand the idea that, "Thou shalt Merge." This was supposed to be listed as one of the Intolerable Acts of King George:

"He has built Royal Highways which suck."

Historians and civil engineers believe that Jefferson left it out of the Declaration of Independence because he knew that no one would ever build a decent road between New York and Boston.

[MARTIAL MONK]

Israel was a very common colonial name. It is very unlikely that he was Jewish.

[aculeus]

BTTT!

[thegreatmalcolmx]

Have you never taken a black history class. This person’s real name was Islam BaShall. It was changed in history books to Israel Bissel by white historians.

This was a very common thing to do in Colonial Times. It is only in the past 15 years that this revisionist history has come to light.

Mr. BaShall was actually considered a Renaissance man in his time. He not only ran a successful farm outside Boston but there is also historical evidence that he dabbled in wind and solar power.

He also was the first American to cross grow a Dahlia Orchid with the common Jack in the Pulpit. He was responsible for the introduction of the flower commonly known as The Black Dahlia.

He had 8 children, two of which helped found Texas A&M. Mr. BaShall lived well into his eighties.

[NonValueAdded]

Well, maybe we are underestimating the perfidy of Paul Revere. Why, he may have bequeathed a sum of money to invent the job of publicist, setting up a trust fund for a poet to write something memorializing him 85 years hence from the night of his ride. How sneaky of Revere to manipulate from his grave the famous poet Longfellow. Then again, perhaps Poor Richard put him up to it.

:)

[SunkenCiv]

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