During NBC training, the drill sergeant would line us up 3 at a time and tested us on putting on the protective mask in less than 9 seconds. So, I'm next in line with two other guys, and all three of us line up in front of the DS. He yells, "Gas!" The two other recruits started putting on their gas masks while I just stood there. The drill sergeant asked why I did nothing.
I said, "Drill Sergeant, the NBC instructor earlier in the day told us that the signal to put on the mask is "Gas! Gas! Gas!" You just said "Gas!" once."
The drill instructor rolled his eyes and then said, "So basically you're telling me I don't know what the f**k I'm doing?"
I replied, "I did not say that, Drill Sergeant."
He said, "OK private, go into the drill sergeant's office and tell the other drill seargent that I'm all f**cked up!"
So I went into the office and told the 2nd drill sergeant that the 1st one was all f**ked up.
The 2nd sergeant screamed, "What did you say!?!"
I said, "The 1st drill sergeant told me to come in so I could tell you that he is all f**ked up."
The 2nd drill sergeant just sort of stared at me for a second, and then yelled, "Private, go tell the other drill sergeant that YOU are the one that is all f**ked up!"
So I went back to the 1st drill sergeant and said, "Drill Sergeant, I'm the one who is all f**cked up!"
He replied, "No sh*t?"
Then he went on to say, "Do you know what your problem is, private?"
I said, "I'm all f**ked up?"
He said "No private! Your problem is that you think too much!"
(As you can tell, I was a bit of a Gomer Pyle in Basic.)
I'm reading these stories outloud to my (teenage) daughter and so far, this definitely got the most laughs!
great story thanks for laughs!