The other face of domestic violence

CNN ^ | April 7, 2006 | Ted Rowlands

[CrawDaddyCA]

SARASOTA, Florida (CNN) -- When I met Leo, Paul and Tom at a domestic violence shelter here in Sarasota, Florida, it was hard to believe the three men's story: that they were victims of physical abuse at the hands of their female partners.

Leo, who is about 6 feet tall and said he weighed more than 200 pounds at the time of the abuse, said his girlfriend terrorized him while he was recovering from a heart transplant.

[CrawDaddyCA]

For all those men out there who have or have had a loony wife/ex-wife.

[speed_addiction]

My loony ex-wife and her lover hired a hitman to shotgun me to death. I got off two rounds, hit the guy high in the chest and in the neck.


What We Are About To Do Here Is What The Good Lord Would Call A Cleansing of the Wicked. I Call It A Good Old Fashioned Texas Ass Kicking.

[cripplecreek]

The fact is that men are almost devoid of rights when it comes to fighting back.

[CrawDaddyCA]

Damn fine shooting!!

[Capriole]

Guys that get abused by women cried during Brokeback Mountain, and are destined to die from bird flu.

Nor necessarily. Some guys who get abused by women are merely being prudent. They know that if they raise a finger to defend themselves they, not the abusive spouse, will be put in jail. They know they're even more likely to be cleaned out financially and lose their children altogether if they defend themselves. And some of them are scared to death not that they'll be harmed, but that the psycho woman will hurt the kids if they move out and leave her alone with the kids. Note, I am a woman but I've seen this injustice.

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

No. But nice demonstration of broad brush painting there

[CrawDaddyCA]

I agree, all the woman has to say is 'he hit me', and off to jail you go.

My ex-wife made a habit of this, calling the cops every time we got into an argument. And like a chump, I stayed with her for 4 years enduring it. (Notice I said 'ex-wife, I finally woke up).

Thing is, she tried to tell my current wife all the lies, and was called on it. Haven't heard from her in years. Good riddance.

[rlmorel]

"Guys that get abused by women cried during Brokeback Mountain, and are destined to die from bird flu.

LOL! Now why bird flu is relevant, I don't know, but...it landed on my funny bone!

The other truth is, that men are taught to never hit a woman. And that is a good thing. And most guys know that they should never resort to hitting another man. On occasion, though, that may become necessary for self-defense, and if you are hit first by another man, then all that is out the door.

However, as cripplecreek wisely noted, there is a double-standard here. Even if a man is assaulted FIRST, they will still most likely be the one sitting in the stripey hole, in some cases, even if they DO NOTHING AT ALL. When the police come to the scene of a domestic disturbance, they have pressure on them to walk away with someone. And, it AIN'T gonna be her.

[cripplecreek]

I've I've got a friend who has scars all over his back, shoulders and arms from his ex wife's knife attacks. To make matters worse, two of her brothers were cops who often responded to domestic disturbance calls at thier house.

[raisincane]

Our son lived with an abusive woman. He told me he so wanted to clobber he, but knew he would land in jail. She's now in Texas with our grandson and we can't locate her to serve her with custody papers. She's one evil woman; I do know that for sure.

[rlmorel]

"... two of her brothers were cops who often responded to domestic disturbance calls..."

OMG. That has gotta be a man's nightmare scenario. Especially if they always hated him from the start. Can you imagine, opening the doors and seeing them? Might as well just extend your wrists for the cuffs...

[starbase]

This is a weird story. Throwing things is common? Maybe a lot of men are way too patient.

I've seen women with whipped boyfriends, I mean severely whipped, like she barks and he cringes. Part of me thought it was kind of "cute" in a way.

One guy like that lived across the street for a couple years with a girlfriend. She was normally pretty cool, but I once told her I was moving to India, and she just freaked out with this major attitude about how women are treated there by Muslim men, and then looked at me with this bitchy, expectant look, as if I was about to crawl and apologize to her.

Of course I'm not answering for any other man but me, sure as hell not for Muslim men in India. I just looked at her like "Yes, sweetie, so f'ing what?"

Like a week later she was gone. I believe that run in with me broke her little illusory world where she pushed men around and called all the shots. After seeing that I don't think there's anything "cute" when I see an unpleasant relationship between two people, regardless of which gender is the abuser.

[cripplecreek]

He never got arrested for hitting the wife. What finally got him arrested was throwing the 3rd homosexual brother out a window.

[CrawDaddyCA]

I have a similar story involving my next door neighbor. A few summers back, he was building a fence along our property line. His wife came outside and started berating him in front of all of us. "You dumb ass! You don't know what you're doing!" and stuff like that. The guy just stood there and took it. After she decided to go back in the house, the guy was so embarrassed he couldn't look at me.

I'm not saying that he should have popped her one, but I would have understood if he did!

[WorkingClassFilth]

Anybody with a link to the stats showing female domestic abuse at higher rates than M-->F should post 'em if they've got it. Another great bonus link might be the data on Lesbian domestic violence (tops the charts).

Anyone...?

[rlmorel]

"Anybody with a link to the stats showing female domestic abuse at higher rates than M-->F should post 'em if they've got it."

With all due respect, and I am not saying you made that comment just to be inflammatory, but it is a given that Male>Female abuse rates are always going to be many times higher than the reverse. Not only do too many men resort to violence in the event of a disagreement, women have a REAL disincentive not to, because most men would likely do more damage to them in a physical fight, feminist fantasies of GI Jane and such notwithstanding. Men are physically bigger and physically stronger, usually by a large margin. It is not like a man being in a face-off with another guy and saying to yourself "He's a bit bigger, I could take him if it came to that..." When you put the average husband next to the average wife, the size, weight and strength disparity as they exist discourage all but the most stupid, violent and unstable of women.

The point of contention is that men who want to be fair, law-abiding and decent are at a serious disadvantage in these types of situations, especially if they are in a situation where the female has it out for him. Even the dimmest lightbulb of a woman can see the advantage she holds, and it doesn't take a lot of cunning to use that advantage, and it has been done.

[Jontherocks]

Heck the exwife ambushed me with a 1 gal. milk bottle of frozen water. She hit me in the back of the head with the thing and I fell through a window. I was pretty lucky I wasn't seriously hurt.

One of the kids called the cops and when they arrived they refused to do any thing about it.

Well not any thing, they stayed long enough so I could gather some clothes and leave for a couple of days.

[cripplecreek]

I suspect that domestic abuse rates among both men and women fall dramatically with age.

[speed_addiction]

Damn fine shooting!!

Actually both my shots went high.

The guy fired his first shot through my front window as I was laying on the couch watching boxing. I rolled off the couch and quickly crawled to the stairs leading to the second floor of my house. I had my M1911 behind a clock in the living room but getting to it meant getting up and making myself a target.

When I ran up the stairs the guy fired again. In our bedroom I pulled my wife's 9mm Sig from under the mattress rolled to a good prone position and nailed the guy when he hit the doorway.

Firing up from the floor caused both my shots to go high of their intended target (the middle of the chest). The first round caught him right on the collarbone. The second just grazed his neck. When he went down I ran up to him and kicked him in the head. Twice!

When this took place I was involved with some very nefarious dealings and thought that this attempt on my life was related to that. I slept next to my wife for a year before I learned the truth.


What We Are About To Do Here Is What The Good Lord Would Call A Cleansing of the Wicked. I Call It A Good Old Fashioned Texas Ass Kicking.