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Ok Doc, in the interest of my child's safety, let me ask you a few questions.

Would you mind giving me your SSN and letting me see your driver's license? Just need to do a little criminal background check.

Would you please tell me about all of your malpractice cases? including those in which you or your insurance settled out of court?

We'd be interested in knowing your political leanings and any contributions you've made. We don't want one of Hillary's 'villagers' treating our child, don't you know?