You sound like the kind of person who would have raised his hand at the Last Supper, when Jesus declared "I am the true vine", and said, "Uh, no, Jesus, I must correct you: you are a human being, and you are God, but you are most certainly not a vine."
Jesus is the true vine. I love Him and am not ashamed to call Him my Lord and my God.
Nor am I. But he is most certainly not a "vine". Why do you insist on saying so?