Cartman: I'm not fat, I'm big-boned.
Stan: No, Jay Leno's chin is big-boned. You are a big fat ass.
Stan: You guys, I'm getting that John Elway football helmet for Christmas.
Cartman: How do you know?
Stan: 'Cause I looked in my parents' closet last night.
Cartman: Yeah, well I sneaked around my mum's closet too and saw what I'm getting. The Ultravibe Pleasure 2000.
Stan: What's that?
Cartman: I don't know but it sounds pretty sweet.
Cartman: Hey, speaking of pounding ass, here comes Stan's little homo dog.
Cartman: I'm gonna be on television. I'm gonna be on television.
Stan: We don't believe for a minute that you won that contest fairly, fat boy.
Cartman: Oh, stop defending your girlfriend for writing about some stupid fish.
Stan: Dude, dolphins aren't stupid. They're inteligent and friendly.
Cartman: Intelligent and friendly on rye bread with some mayonaise.
Stan: Dolphins are way smarter than you.
Cartman: Oh, yeah? If they're so smart, how come they live in igloos?
Stan: Dude, that's not dolphins, that's Eskimos.
Cartman: Dolphins, Eskimos, it's all a bunch of tree-hugging hippie crap.