a well-known, respected technology expert and
cryptologist to ascertain the authenticity
of the disputed documents:
Posted on 09/15/2004 4:37:57 AM PDT by tsmith130
Kelley Wright just reported that CBS is expected to make a statement this morning regarding the documents!
She could have settled the insider trading civil case (still pending) by paying the fine and disgorging the profits. Under $100,000, I think.
CBS source is: DICK CHENEY!!
Is it possible she could have to answer state charges if Spitzer feels like it? Could that be why she's doing this?
Well, regardless, she could be a role model for Dan Rather. In her conclusion she informed us that she's got a real sense of humor. That's funny! She's a humorless heel.
everybody@cbs.com
tom@nbc.com
petah@abc.com
everybody@cnn.com
lyingbastards@fauxnews.com
mysweetdumpling@kerry2004.com
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
CBS NEWS
NEW YORK
In the wake of recent insulting questions about the veracity of CBS's highly esteemed professional investigation of documents incriminating George W. Bush's service in the cowardly Texas Air Guard, we have been advised by our legal staff that, due to a pending lawsuit against Karl Rove and a certain shadowy group whose only known code-name is "Pajamas" for defamation by misinformation, CBS News will henceforth refuse further comment on said documents which allegedly have proven beyond the shadow of a doubt that George Bush avoided serving his country.
In a separate statement to the press, Dan Rather said "This story is hotter than a dish of pecan praline on a dewy August morning. It'll be a ring-tailed habber-jabber once our crack legal team gets to the bottom of it. And I promise that I will never rest until the conniving plots of Karl Rove and the machinations of the secret Pajama Militia are exposed as the menace to democracy that has become more evident than a dung-beetle on a toadstool. Thank you very much."
I expect that CBS will do the Clintonesque apology and use the "Default Defense".
i.e., Since we used the Microsoft Word "Default Settings", we obviously were not trying to fake or forge the documents which we showed. And, of course, it was just coincidence that we inadvertantly printed the test document on a piece of paper which had previously been signed by Killian.
We hereby renounce this experiment and we have ordered that all previously signed "Killian" pieces of paper be destroyed to prevent this terrible accident from re-occurring.
ROTFLMAO, ([: ^ )
RamS
When Dan does his Ratherisms, he sounds so fake, doesn't he? ;)
I can see Rather huddling with Harry and Linda Bloodworth Thomas, practicing his finger wag.
CBS to release something soon ping!
I have a 1903 Linotype machine in my garage. (eBay) The hard part was getting it to talk to Linux.
No, I think I smell the Chewbacca defense coming...
"... we checked our sources and we kind of like how they sound regardless of how truthful they may or may not be, and anyway Bush has many unanswered questions our forged documents raise, so if it follows Ewoks cannot cohabitate with lizard people under a flag of truce then it is up to our detractors to prove we are not a tool of the Democratic campaign and we are ipso facto clean and truthful..."
Just watch.
About the best they could do is to admit that they didn't vet the "evidence" and the pressures of scheduling caused them to take away from the important issues at hand and they regret that an erroneous impression was created by the partisan critics who lay in wait and, at that moment, chose to blow the whole thing up to an impossible level of scrutiny in this day of non-universal HDTV. The future will allow all TV programs to produce clear images unimpeachable even under a microscope and CBS intends to be there with the latest and the highest optical quality.
Those pesky inverse tachyons will trip up an amateur forger every time.
..twenty-five years, too late. :)
Thanks. I'm all over this. : )
You forgot, "It is time to move on."
I agree. They will use Mrs. "Selected, Not Elected".
Let the tip-toeing begin. Talk about flip flopping, the kerry campaign won't have anything on See BS.
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