Little Haiti shop owner says he's justified in spanking teenage girl

Ft. Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel ^ | 12.29.03 | Diana Marrero

[mhking]

MIAMI -- The 13-year-old girl has a pretty face and a slight frame. But to Lonnie Grigsby, 52, her sweet appearance masks an unruly attitude.

Grigsby, who runs a mini-mart just blocks from the girl's middle school in Little Haiti, says the teenager sassed him one too many times this month.

So Grigsby took off his belt and gave the girl what he thought she needed: a "good whupping."

"She's beyond sassy; she's out of control," said Grigsby, who said he hit the girl after she called him a number of expletives and threw two coins at his head. "I bet her parents never gave her a whupping. She needed it."

Grigsby's actions landed him in jail and set off a firestorm of debate in a community divided by both generational and cultural differences when it comes to disciplining children.

[FormerLib]

I never get picked for jury duty.

For some reason, most lawyers don't want computer programmers sitting on their jury. Might be the logic thing, who knows.

Last time, the judge asked all of us, "Do any of you belong to an organization that campaigns for harsher sentences for gun crimes?" I stood up and answered, "Yes, your honor."

"What organization?" he asked.

"The National Rifle Association," came my reply.

I swear the defense attorney's head damn near came off.

[Qwinn]

ROFL. Great story. I wonder if he/she just didn't believe that the NRA does.

Qwinn

[FormerLib]

I wonder if he/she just didn't believe that the NRA does.

Probably not, but you could tell by the look on her face that she would rather have Osama bin Laden sitting in that jury box then some "Crazed, gun-loving yahoo!"

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

Here is something else some people didn't catch.

The breaking point, he said, was when she gave him too much money for a 60-cent bag of chips.

Oh man I can see how that would be just the most horrible thing in the universe. He got the incorrect amount for a bag of chips!

"You can't count?" he recalls asking.

Wait! Is this any way to talk to a customer?

That's when he said the girl began calling him names, spat at him and threw the two nickels he returned to her at his head.

An over reaction? Oh yes! But who was it that started it? It wasn't her.

"She wanted to stand in the middle of the store and argue with me like a grownup," Grigsby said. "Somebody's got to step up and say, `You can't act like that in public.'"

You can't argue in public? Gee I did not know that. Maybe someone should say the same to him?

Speaking as a adult I would have left the chips and never darkened the door of this establishment again. The owner was rude. the owner, from his own mouth, confessed to hurling the first insult and that the insult was unprovoked.

Prediction. She will end up owning her first business before she turns fourteen.

[TXFireman]

ping

[CyberCowboy777]

It always depends on the child.

My oldest is devastated when I look disapprovingly at him, my second could care less.

I spank my children as well as talk with them and work with their individual weaknesses.

I was spanked with a belt and have never had anything more than a speeding ticket (even that was 8 over I swear!), while a certain relative who was never spanked was an out of work bum who has been arrested for theft and selling drugs.

[go star go]

you got it bud. no man. i repeat no man is going to use my daughter to take out his frustrations. not a single one.

[CyberCowboy777]

spat at him and threw the two nickels he returned to her at his head

He will get his, she is the one getting off. This is a double standard, both should be dealt with.

[annyokie]

No. Dad is a career military officer. The kids are quite well-behaved.

[GreenHornet]

I can't believe how many people here are taking the store keeper's side. Maybe the kid did mouth off to him - does that justify him taking off his belt and beating the girl?

If your daughter mouthed off to a stranger, and that stranger retaliated by physically attacking her, how many of you would say "he did the right thing - she had it coming to her"?

[Old Student]

He's African-American, which I believe means black, and she is Haitian, which also usually means black. I'd file assault charges against her for spitting on me, and claim self-defense. Then I'd ban her, and her whole family from the store, and I'd sue them; they are responsible for her actions. Maybe they'd think twice next time.

[annyokie]

You are quite right. All three of my boys have different temperaments and personalities.

For instance, my youngest is so eager to please (he is 7) that he dissolves into tears if you give him "that look".

My middle boy couldn't care less. He'll stand there and scuff his feet and look bored while we lecture him.

[Old Student]

If my daughter assaulted a stranger, I'd zap her myself, after he was finished. Hillary wants a villiage, lets give her one, and see how she really likes it.

[hershey]

Sounds like S&M to me.

[ExSoldier]

You need to understand the Haitian mindset on these things. I teach in a high school that is nearly 75% Haitian. I have called parents to complain about kid behavior and was exhorted to just "SMACK HIM!" and of course I can't do that, unless I'm attacked first. I have had Haitian parents smack their kids in front of myself and the principal during a parent conference. Cops are rarely called by the administration...we have Haitian administrators. I have also had convicted felons (violent crimes..attempted murder; armed robbery) in my classes who will just melt and plead with me not to call home and they'll be good....

In this case, however, I don't think many Haitian parents would take a kind view of somebody smacking their kid without their permission, first. Especially not those who have spent much time in this country. They all know the possible financial windfall brought by the letters: L-A-W-S-U-I-T.

[FITZ]

An over reaction? Oh yes! But who was it that started it? It wasn't her.

You're right --- he did provoke her --- and probably just for the jollies he'd get out of spanking her. He could have called her parents, he could have called the police, he had no right at all to get aggressive with her. He'll know use his "culture" as an excuse ---- he can't adapt to American culture after all and the fact that here you don't go around smacking up other people's kids. If it's so much worse here than in Haiti because the kids might be sassier --- then he should be deported back to Haiti where everything is better.

[FITZ]

You need to understand the Haitian mindset on these things.

No --- if HE'S living in the USA then he needs to understand the American mindset on these things. Otherwise go back to Haiti where everything must be better.

[CyberCowboy777]

My middle one has actually smiled while being lecture!

Ah.... the joys of parenting.

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

Throwing nickles (If she even did it) was not the right thing to do. But it pales in comparison with what he did.

If someone throws a nickle at me I am not justified in a court of law if I attack them. It is called proportionate response.

Now I am also looking at what he did first and I am coming to the conclusion that this guy liked humiliating little girls or at least this girl.

"Can't you count?"?

Would you ever say that to a customer? Maybe if you were a smart mouthed teen on your first job. But not when you are a 44 year old business owner.

And you are correct, there is a double standard. He was expected to behave like a grownup. He didn't.

[ExSoldier]

"13 is way too old, even for your own child."

I disagree. In my household for our daughter, there were two offenses that would draw physical punishment from the time she was born to the time she left for college.

#1 Disrespect to either mom or myself.

#2 Handling one of my firearms in the absence of either mom or myself.

Let me be clear...I never EVER had to strike my daughter for anything. When she was a toddler mom used to whomp her for the usual reasons, but my hand was reserved for the two felonies stated. I never had to, but I would have, right up to the time she left for college.

My daughter is getting married in July 2004. When they settle in, she wants the Ruger SP101 .357 magnum that has always been hers (but of which I maintained control) since she was 10. Now, I just have to train her new hubby to be as good with the gun as she!