“I had thought of foregoing the local version of Novus Ordo entirely, and making a monthly trek to a TLM, but was advised against it”
You got bad advice.
You think? I didn’t like the advice, for sure, but it was compelling. My problem is I have not a TLM priest to ask for advice, or who probably would dare encourage such a thing.
There are obligations to bloom where you’re planted, in case for an illness or for your funeral and missing our Lord in Holy Communion on His Holy Day. But, yes, it is a grave suffering to assist in a Novus Ordo, locally. Repellant, really. Anger, tears, often improper disposition to receive.
A true suffering. We are suing for a TLM and have commissioned a Canon lawyer. It may take years, but our bishop is repulsed with us and the TLM.