I have so many comments on the state of marriage and Catholics, I don’t know if I can convey it all. First off, it is a confusing nonsensical nightmare.
Here is my example, I was born into a protestant family, married way too young at 20 to a woman who wasn’t even baptized. At 30 I married my true wife, been married 28 years, she was Catholic, and raised my family accordingly. After all these years, I made the decision to get my annulment and join the Church officially. My marriage is assumed valid, even though I was never Catholic, nor my ex, nor was she even baptized. Went through approx six months of RCIA, still don’t know if it will go through or not. If it doesn’t, although I have completely embraced it, I will not be able to go to confession, be confirmed, initiated, or join in communion. The only way I could would be to kick my wife out, separate from her.
Now, if I were cradle Catholic, married in a non-Catholic wedding to even a baptized protestant, the marriage would automatically be invalid because Catholics are required to get married in the Church.
In other words, the one who knows he is doing wrong is allowed, the one who is ignorant is not. Which one is more at fault, the confirmed Catholic who marries a stripper or two protestants who marry each other, then wants to convert?
Anyone who can make any sense of this is welcome to explain it. I would say the Catholic who marries outside is far more culpable than one who knows nothing of the religion, but that isn’t how it works.
Did your Catholic "wife" not realize she doing wrong when she "married" you outside the Church?