I understand what you meant by your example, and I appreciate your sharing this personal information. It’s not unlike many varied stories from people in and out of the Church trying to grapple with sacramental and human issues together. You are right to say that this makes some of these issues confusing and hard.
Of course since it’s the Catholic Church usually causing the confusion and imposing the regulations (rightly or wrongly I won’t even get into), the obligation to seek understanding, harmony and kindness falls first and foremost upon practicing Catholics... in particular one fortunate enough to have seemingly lived a life free from any of the errors we other mortals commit.
Thanks. The apparent contradiction where a marriage between two non Catholics is considered sacramental, while one between a Catholic and a non Catholic is invalid honestly baffles me.
My common sense says that there should be more forgiveness towards those that were not in the church than ones that were and ignored it. This is beside the fact that we can be forgiven for murder, abortion, etc, but not for a marriage that occurred before coming into the Church.