Super logic - except it doesn’t work that way for 99% of the real world - shacking up ends relationships. Marrying later ends the relationship too. You get together in a different mode of thinking when you do that, most often.
Sure, there are deathbed confessions, but I would not rely on having time to say it, having a priest within earshot to say it to.
But I am not a gambling man. Do you feel lucky? Lots of guys in jail did too - and their recidivism rate suggests they learn slowly.
But we still preach to the shacking up - there is mercy, there is change....for the ignorant, but not so much the cynically ‘wise’.
Find her, help her get to heaven and get you to heaven - not just the sex and kids you know.
I feel blessed. That said, my personal faith and belief is that God knows what is in your heart, irrespective of what you say on your deathbed. I agree with your characterization of the ‘cynically wise’. You can't manipulate your way to a spiritual soul, you have to do the work and make the sacrifices.
I personally don't believe there is a specific ‘formula’ for salvation outside of the very fundamental call from God to have a good heart, sacrifice yourself without expectation of reward, love without expectation or requirement of being loved back, and have the humility to know and admit you are flawed and ask forgiveness for those times you fail to do what you should. That said, I do not believe that a person who isn't committed at some level to try to grow spiritually and be a better person is benefiting all that much by going into a confessional weekly as a mechanical act of ritualistic religion. Faith and ritual are very different, at least to me.
IMHO, one of the things Christ made abundantly clear while walking as a man in the world was that our relationship to God is much, much more than the specific mechanics of religion and religious doctrine. He did a lot of things that kind of flew in the face of the Rabbinical leaders, but never did anything that flew in the face of God - although the Rabbinical leaders tried to say he did.
That doesn't mean I don't have respect for the pillars of Christian faith or the tenets of Catholicism, nor does it mean that I feel that I can just make up a faith and my version of Christianity and of being a Catholic in a way that is ‘comfortable’ for me. Personally, every minute I live I see more clearly how hard the path is to being a good human being in the way that God wants. That said, I don't back off of the comments about hypocrisy in the Church. There's a church, and a Church, and the church has all the flaws that one would expect of something run by human beings.
Incidentally, I would rather spend my life alone than ‘shack up’ with someone, because it just doesn't appeal to me, and I agree that it can ruin relationships before they have a chance to grow into mature meaningful loving relationships. I don't judge those who do this, however. I don't know them, or their hearts. I think divorce is one of the most destructive things that can happen in anyones life, not because it means God is going to ‘punish you’ or is not going to take you into heaven, but because if it began based in love, it is a huge loss to both people, and it will hurt them (consciously or not) throughout the rest of their lives.