Joy was something foreign to me when I was doing religious works to try to please God.
I was always convinced that it was a duty or obligation that I had to perform to appease God and avoid hell, and I was not sure that what I was doing was even good enough for Him to owe me.
It was like running on a hamster wheel of fruitless works that were getting me nowhere.
I can identify with that. I felt the same way. Dead works, led only to Hell. That was the only thing I could "achieve" with my dead works.
Praise Jesus for salvation, and the best part is, we have complete assurance of that.