I can relate, though the cloud I was under was some time ago, the journey through is often recalled and pondered.
I learned, among those things you mentioned, that there are simply certain things God wants us to know and learn about Him that can ‘ONLY’ be taught and learned through what we encounter in trials and suffering through them.....
Job was a companion as I traveled that path...David as well...and of course Jesus as he met those who sufferred along his path.
Yes, Job, David, and others. He is revealing so much, it may take the remainder of my life to ponder and grasp the impact. what a blessing.