That thought has occurred to me, dear NYer, re: my sister (future collateral damage?). Thanks for supporting me in the view that I am not "nuts" in imagining this possibility.
What I haven't been able to say outright to J or my sister is this: People who live in First Reality, and people who live in Second Reality, have an extraordinarily difficult time in communicating with one another. So much so, that one suspects that the entire point of constructing a Second Reality is to obviate, to "get rid of" First Reality in the first place.
If one can imaginatively dispose of one's own biological nature at will, then why not think that the entire order of Nature is similarly up for grabs? That is to say, subject to a "redefinition" —may I ask, according to what deranged criteria of quasi-human imagination are the things of life being "redefined?"
Anyhoot, what is happening in my family is sad. I'll try to do anything I can to make things better, by the Grace of God.
I better shut up and sign off for now. Thank you so very much, dear sister NYer, for writing!
A couple of things come to mind.
One is that some things wrap themselves around your sense of self to the point that you imagine that to give that up, you are no longer you. In reality the opposite is true, but because you can’t conceive of it you have a permanent stronghold there and you will not allow anyone including God to intrude there.
Many of us, maybe most of us have strongholds in our makeup, sometimes so closely intertwined with our sense of self that we don’t even recognize them, we certainly can’t see them as something that requires fixing. Its who we are, we can’t imagine trying to change it.
This is not necessarily the final answer, though. At least it doesn’t have to be. Whatever stronghold you or I may declare off-limits, God can work with it and work around it. If we once give him permission to take up residence, and begin to shuffle the furniture around, he will initially respect our boundaries (gentleman that he is) but over time he will change us and change the circumstance that causes us to cling to the things we cling to until one day you wake up and it has fallen away and you’re not sure how or when it happened.
Some things can change in a moment, others change slowly over time as the thing that drove it or caused it or created the need for it slowly disappears. But the first step is giving God permission to be God of your life without dictating what that will ultimately mean. She might be afraid to do it; a lot of us are, or she may harbor some private anger that makes it difficult to do. The day comes, though, when you decide to just go with it; let him lead and let the chips fall.
So the answer for now is to just pray for her. (I’m sure you already do). Ask God to show himself to her in a way that she can understand, and begin the work of drawing her in. You can’t do anything to change her at this stage of life; he can. That his job.