Well, I’m a complete failure in that regard but, the use if the scripture is one of controlling one’s thoughts and I find it difficult to believe God wouldn’t want us to be attracted to each other
The terms of self temperance and moderated are use in absolute terms and I can’t see hiw that is possible.
No man is going to live each moment like that. It isn’t possible.
It is possible not to act on those thoughts but, that’s as far as I can get...
For what it is worth.. I never interpreted “wow, she is pretty” or “he is handsome” to a sin. I always thought it was the type of person (male or female) that were “after” the pretty/handsome little things. Lust in one’s heart is way different than “admiring” a pretty/handsome person from afar.
I also think it has to do with our actions involving the opposite sex. For example, I know some “not happy in my marriage” people who will team up with a group to go out on a Friday or Saturday night. A few cocktails.. a few close dances... I think it is pushing the envelope. I don’t buy the “I needed some fun with the girls” or “it was only a dance” excuse. It is trolling for some sort of excitement/which can lead to an encounter. I actually offered to babysit so the wife/husband could go out together for a spark. “He doesn’t want to go” or “he’s not into dancing” is what I hear.