I missed the fun part because of editing issues, here it is:
May the passion of our Lord Jesus Christ, the merits of the blessed Virgin Mary and of all the saints, whatever good you have done and whatever evil you have endured achieve for you the forgiveness of your sins, the increase of grace, and the reward of everlasting life. Amen.
I absolve you from all censures and sins, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, + and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.
I’m really doing poorly tonight, the last line is the short form, not the conclusion of the formula. I have only myself to blame.