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I suspect the root of our differences begins with a few assumptions.

We both recognize the old man has an old sin nature.

We understand that in our eternal state, we will be with God without sin (I need Scriptural support of this statement).

So somehow we must transition between our present state to the other.

In part, we have the new man who is sinless, which I would identify with our saved self.

We also have guidance from the epistles upon how we are continually sanctified by the work of God the Holy Spirit in us, while we remain in fellowship with God and intake the Word.

We know that he also have predestined rewards, which if we remain in fellowship with Him and perform good works through faith in Him, we might be rewarded at the bema seat with them.

We also know that prior to the first death, we will still sin or else we call God a liar.

Therefore we know that at the first death, there will remain a part of us in our old man, which is still sinful, both in body and soul. Our spirit though, as identified with our soul as the new man will ascend to be present with the Lord.

We know we (our bodies) will be raised incorruptible at the Rapture.

We also know we will be sifted/sorted as if by fire, to burn off that which is not pure, ... to remove the dross. This also happens before the first death, as we are tested in our sanctification processes on our daily walk with God through faith in Christ.

We also know we do not earn our salvation.

We know we are redeemed from the slave market of sin, regenerated in our human spirit, justified through faith, reconciled to God the Father by the work of Christ on the Cross, and all our sins have been judged at the Cross, allowing us to be forgiven upon acceptance of faith in Him and confession of our sins to Him.

We also know that God provides for our salvation.

I don’t see the necessity of our suffering Purgatory to justify God’s work in saving us.