hhaha..
After walking that divorce mile, it is amazing to me how much the divorce industry (and it really is an industry) has tilted and slanted stories against those with testicles.
Bottom line however, once the divorce is done doesn’t mean everything is a cake walk. As a male, you WILL pay for “equality” within family court by means of a good lawyer.
(I might note too, if you -not you wastedyears- are unfortunate enough to be going through a divorce; if the law firm or attorney has to rely on advertising; you won’t fair well them. Find a good one and get ready to pay if you want any semblance of freedom post divorce.)
Not too interested in marriage at the moment. I’m not even seeing anybody. I certainly don’t want to have kids, as I have multiple factors working against me. Kids would be used as unwilling bargaining chips, and that’s another reason I don’t want kids.
ALL true.
It's easy to believe that; however in my experience, the divorce racket is tilted towards maximum profit for the lawyers. If they can get that by setting a wealthy professional man against his stay-at-home wife by threatening to take the kids from her by any means possible, they will do that. If they can get the most for their own pockets by threatening to strip a man bare, they will do that. Try to remember that once a marriage gets into the courts, everyone becomes their slave. The one who emerges "triumphant" is often just another pawn in a larger game.
It's best for the divorcing couple to team up, for two reasons: 1) the well-being of the kids and 2) to keep the most of their assets away from lawyers, accountants and therapists. I seriously recommend divorce mediation for anyone who has reached that point of no return.
That said, couples would more rarely reach that point if they put half as much thought and energy into courtship as they will have to do at divorce. By courtship I do not mean hopping in the sack and then going through the motions of getting married because of a pregnancy, parental pressure, or emotional blackmail or love addiction by one or the other of a sexually-involved couple. I mean spending at least as much time learning about marriage as one typically spends learning to drive, taking the driver's test, saving up for your own car, researching insurance companies, researching car features, car dealers and repair options, and maintaining the car:
Hold back from sexual involvement for your own sake so your heart will not be broken or your sexual persona insulted by a bad love affair casually entered into. Wait until you are very sure your commitment is completely mutual. If you are young, hold back until married. If you are older and divorced, hold back as long as you can, take lots of time if you do decide to go at it, and indulge as little as humanly possible until you are remarried.
Prepare yourself for marriage the way you would for an important job -- education and experiences to make yourself a viable candidate.
Don't expect a real man or woman to be like a fictional character, especially a pornographic one.
Contentment is basically your own responsibility. Don't put your foot into a tarbaby.
Seek the advice of people who really love you.
Go to church or synagogue together.
Cultivate friendships and counsel from older couples who have been married a long time, and ask them over for dinner or go out with them.
Take marriage preparation classes.
Remember, maintaining a good enough marriage is like driving a car: getting around to your friends, family, job and errands of daily life is not like being a racecar driver. It is calm and has limits for your own good and the good of everyone around you.
Same goes for sex. It has to be good enough to get you there, but it can only be at top thrill for an extremely tiny number of exceptionally equipped individuals.
Don't drink and drive; don't drink and fight with your spouse.
Be courteous and share "the road."