When my husband and I married after living together for 3 years, we went to the JotP. A wedding and hoop-te-do would have been hypocritical in my view. We did have a party in our honor but it was not lavish.
My son, an otherwise smart and discerning young man (not so young, he’s 35) recently got married. She HAAAAD to have the whole white dress, uncle giving her away routine, every single expensive item. Not only had he already moved in, but this was each’s second marriage. Come ON. They went into debt and promptly lost their jobs. sheesh.