Marriage for many is definitely a "death to self", but not in the scriptural sense! It is very hard for most people to accept that their partner will break their vows not just of fidelity, but of love, loyalty and cherishing their partner. It is almost worse than death to face the death of any hope for a good or even tolerable condition in their home and most personal arena, especially if things go bad early on and there are children caught in the crossfire of fighting or abuse of any kind. Any possible solution for faithful Christians must come from churches helping to improve the mate-selection process, as well as clergy refusing to marry couples who cannot evidence a solid foundation.
Churches need to do much, much more education about family relations from early childhood onward, stressing courtship and discernment instead of romance and fantasy. Teaching can be integrated into Sunday School lessons as well as from the pulpit, not just separate classes after an in-love or in-lust couple has already planned to marry. Family education should be ongoing, and should include whole-family dynamics, such as how to parent not just a child, but someone who will become a future adult husband or wife; how to be a good parent-in-law or son/daughter-in-law; how to cope with relations with the "other" set of in-laws instead of power struggles; why marrying within your religion can simplify your life, but what to do if there is another religion, mixed-religious or divorced parent-in-laws -- all these sorts of difficult areas that smash happiness if they are not resolved effectively.
Amen to all that.