It has come to our attention that we are being made the scapegoats of everything the Pope says, as if we are not doing our jobs. This is inaccurate. We are not charged with perfection in translation. In fact, none of us speak a second language at all!This may surprise many readers of this notice, so I will describe our role here at Ground Zero...or VeeCee, as we call it.
First, just months ago, we were all homeless on the Streets of Rome. The translation office is a jobs program for homeless Italians. Through the kindness of the Great leaders at VeeCee, 8 of us were recruited to a very fulfilling job with benefits. Many of us previously used Google Translate, so we had every qualification needed. Please note, our instructions are to get the message out fast. You may have noticed our Great Pope speaks "off the cuff" quite frequently, or as we say here in VeeCee, "between bites of pasta."
For this reason, we are not charged with accuracy, but with speed. Blinding speed. And between you and me, we are fast. We don't like to miss meals. Done is done. Good enough, is good enough. If the media reads the faulty Google translation and jumps to conclusions, well... not our fault! Blame The Google!
With this in mind, please speak kindly of us so that we can continue our jobs.
Sincerely,
Luigi, Antonio, Giuseppe, Michael, Maria, Giovanna, Francesco, & Concetta
