God Bless
I've been in deep prayer and meditation since I heard of these two announcements yesterday hours apart:
Breaking now-- CIA Director David Petraeus submits resignation [over adultery]
BREAKING: Lockheed Martin CEO-in-waiting Chris Kubasik resigns over "close personal relationship" with subordinate.
I used to work for Lockheed Martin in the 90's. Today is the 237th birthday of the Marines, tomorrow is Veterans Day. Service. Honor. Sacrifice. Country. God. Sin. Judgement.
After seeing your post, I Googled Resist Not Evil - great article for me - I could have used this many years ago...
I had my first spiritual experience at 25 when a woman I was living with announced she was pregnant and demanded I pay for her abortion. It increasingly became a terrible situation and I had to have the police remove her (still pregnant) from my apartment. I went downhill from there and a week later started disassociating and my family thought I was delusional (I said I wanted to marry her and have the baby - God would work it out). They had me committed (I thought I was going to Church) and in the hospital, I had a phenomenal out of body experience - it was like all of the spiritual world was rushing through me at once - I opened my mouth and the sound that came out wasn't human - it shook my soul. I started seeing everything around me as correspondences to the spiritual world - peoples names, numbers, colors, books - especially the Bible. I would fall into trances, just moving along looking and listening - totally detached.
I was diagnosed bi-polar. Sometime later, my boss told me she lied to an auditor about an important issue (she was a VP). I prayed on it and felt I had to go to her boss and tell him. I did and shortly thereafter, they found a way to fire me.
I contacted a headhunter and got an interview at the company my step-father worked at. Many people from Church also worked there - I felt I was so blessed that I got the job there. It was the manufacturing facility for the largest mainframes in the world and my position put me into every area I could imagine and then some - working with brilliant people. I thrived there for several years.
I had a few episodes/spiritual experiences there but everything seemed fine until my boss decided to have an affair. Then used me as an alibi with his wife. Things got bad again and I had to be hospitalized but I was released too soon - I went to a mutual friend (a manager) and asked him how he thought I should proceed. He didn't answer me and took the info to my boss and confronted his (he had his own axe to grind). They couldn't fire me so they started to 'make me quit'. I lost my drivers licence and had to take the train to work - I had to get up at 4am. I was really loaded up on medications and could hardly function anymore. My boss went to my parents and they wouldn't speak to me. I didn't feel the Lord anymore. They said they were now limiting my hospitalization coverage. My life was unraveling at 30.
I decided to commit suicide by an overdose of lithium. Long story short, I should be dead, my level was so high (14). I was in a coma for 10 days and had a near death experience. I saw heaven and the tree of life and found out what I must do.
I woke up paralyzed, unable to speak (I still use a wheelchair). I went through rehab and through a retraining program to make sure I still had my cognitive abilities got a job with a large company whose owner's wife was from my Church. I loved it there - they had very high ethical standards. I did well... left for the west coast and moved back and they rehired me.
Then in 2004, I started to become involved with the election stuff here on FR. I was going full pedal to the medal here and with a high performance job. Add to that I reported to a director who, it was rumored by everyone I knew, was having a "close personal relationship" with subordinate. I wanted to talk to either one of them about it but was forbidden by others (something about sexual harassment). I was let go in 2009 just prior to them shutting their doors. I moved to Kansas, slowed down and found peace.
Here, I learned that I'm not a machine or 'human resource' but more like a field of winter wheat. The Bible came alive to me once I understood how an agricultural community works. I've had a few hospitalizations for medication adjustments and spent a lot of time with soldiers from bases here. I've seen up close and personal what Commander In Chief is doing to people under him. I've cried and ministered with them and them with me. I always try to keep them in my prayers.
I didn't start real repentance in my life until I retired. I didn't trust the Word really in my youth and had a poor understanding - felt I needed to internalize evil to understand it and ended up paying a big price. My Church teaches and I now know that when we repent and being regenerated, we are protected from evil and we are raised up spiritually. Evil becomes powerless to the spiritual person. We can see it's effects on others but not be caught up in it... resist not evil.
I know this was long and highly personal but it's my testimony and witness about how sin is like a cancer. My experience and faith make me pro-life who follows the Ten Commandments.
Blessings,