Posted on 02/19/2011 8:55:33 PM PST by Jules8
| Nemelka Tale, Excerpt by Excerpt | Joseph Smith Look-Alike, Right? How Nemelka has Joseph Smith down pat! |
| [1] "The truth was, he told me he had been called to translate the sealed portion of the Book of Mormon. He almost failed the first time because of his pride, so God took his calling away for a while,” Marie said. | Why didn't Joseph Smith say, "Satan would try to tempt me (in consequence of the indigent circumstances of my father’s family), to get the plates for the purpose of getting rich. This he forbade me, saying that I must have no other object in view in getting the plates but to glorify God, and must not be influenced by any other motive than that of building his kingdom; otherwise I could not get them." |
| [2] The sealed portion as written by Nemelka exists. Nemelka admitted he wrote it, not translated it. People besides Marie have read its pages. Dewey recalls Marie talking about it. “I thought it was kind of an elaborate joke—I don’t know what. She said it was very realistic-sounding, despite the strange premise. I told her there was no way it could be authentic.” | Hmm...We wonder how those closest to this Mormon "prophet" must have “...thought...it was kind of an elaborate joke...was very realistic-sounding, despite the strange premise....was no way it could be authentic.” Why that's just like the Book of Mormon! |
| [3] In the realm of Mormon folklore, few things rank as highly suspect as the Three Nephites or the sealed portion. The Three Nephites, according to lore, live immortally as the last of a righteous tribe that once existed on the American continent. As such, they have roamed the world through the centuries, turning good deeds wherever they went. Like the Jewish lore of Elijah at the Passover table, they could exist literally, or figuratively. The sealed portion is another matter. It’s reputedly a blocked-off section of the original gold plates from which Joseph Smith was translating the Book of Mormon. Mormons teach that he could not access it and he was not authorized to translate it. In the Book of Jared in the Book of Mormon, the sealed portion is briefly cited as containing the entire history of the world, from Adam until Christ’s Second Coming. | Hey, if Smith couldn't translate the "sealed-off" portion, then what? Do Mormons think that "translators" and "seers" have gone by the wayside forever? (Every accusation the Mormons have made vs. Christians about supposedly "shutting off" the need for "living prophets" apply to THEM here! Their own arguments have come back to bite them! What? Have Mormons shut out the need for "translating" sealed portions of "revelations"? Say it ain't so, Joe! Say it ain't so!) |
| [4] “It’s a historical footnote. We know that a portion of the plates Joseph Smith had was sealed. We don’t know anything about what was in them, and they play no role in our theology,” said Daniel Peterson, associate executive director of the Institute for the Study and Preservation of Ancient Religious Texts, a parent organization of the Foundation for Ancient Research and Mormon Studies (FARMS) at Brigham Young University. Peterson found Nemelka’s sealed portion mildly impressive, but far short of any potential to spark a following. Since the sealed portion exists as a sort of blank spot on Mormon theology, it’s fertile ground for anyone who wants to invent something, much like Jesus’ childhood, on which the Bible never took pains to elaborate. “I don’t think I’m going to convert anytime soon,” Peterson said. “He writes reasonably well. I’m tipping my hat, I suppose, but it’s a good imitation of scriptural style.” | Even Lds apologist Daniel Peterson a decade ago said Nemelka "writes reasonably well. I’m tipping my hat, I suppose, but it’s a good imitation of scriptural style.” [Sounds just like Joseph Smith!] |
| [5] Nemelka’s version finds its context in a preamble he penned before embarking on his sealed portion. It begins in the summer of 1984, when he worked as a security officer for the LDS church. Already disillusioned with the church, he ventured into the Temple’s upper room where the Twelve Apostles meet. Confronted with its opulence, he “wept bitterly.” Shortly afterward, a “tremendously bright light began to fill the room.” Not only did Nemelka see the personage of his late grandfather, but Joseph Smith and the gold plates to boot. His mission, he learned, was to “commence” the translation of the sealed portion, but only under the position and authority of Smith. The preamble ends with a rumble of stalwart righteousness: “Though I will endure many persecutions and trials, I will never deny that I have experienced that which I have described above, and if any man mock me or that to which I have testified, I will witness against him at the judgement bar of God … I solemnly testify.” It’s signed Christopher M. Nemelka, Adam Ben Eli. The alias, Nemelka explained, kept matters in the original Mormon spirit of authenticity. If Joseph Smith used pseudonums, so would he. | Nemelka, just like Smith, apparently had other-worldly bright-vision visitors as a "'tremendously bright light began to fill the room.' Not only did Nemelka see the personage of his late grandfather, but Joseph Smith and the gold plates to boot. His mission, he learned, was to 'commence' the translation of the sealed portion, but only under the position and authority of Smith." [Well, what do you know? The Mormon god isn't limited by the scorched-earth Mormons from resending bright visitors to give bright visions with not-so-bright content!] |
| [6] It’s a stately, but leaden piece of writing designed to hit all the right notes with Mormon faithful, right down to its repeated use of “And it came to pass … ” and the liberal use of words like “behold,” “eternal” and “exceedingly.” It’s also a deft mix of Old Testament wrath (“you shall weep and wail and gnash”) matched with New Testament promise and redemption. It’s loaded with admonitions to obey God’s commandments—or else. “My true intent was to somehow perpetuate a religion that would be based on true Christian principals of Christ-like love,” Nemelka explained in a phone interview from jail. “Where I made my greatest mistake, for which I’m now extremely sorry for, is that I used deception to perpetuate what I proposed as the truth, assuming at the time that Joseph Smith had done the same thing.” | Well, let's see, Joseph Smith did jail time over his escapades. As Joseph's wife later said, "It was secret things which...cost Joseph and Hyrum their lives..." (Source: Solemn Covenant, by B. Carmon Hardy, Univ. of Illinois) So, of course, Nemelka would pen a "stately, but leaden piece of writing designed to hit all the right notes with Mormon faithful, right down to its repeated use of 'And it came to pass … ' and the liberal use of words like 'behold,' 'eternal' and 'exceedingly.' It’s also a deft mix of Old Testament wrath ('you shall weep and wail and gnash') matched with New Testament promise and redemption. It’s loaded with admonitions to obey God’s commandments—or else. 'My true intent was to somehow perpetuate a religion that would be based on true Christian principals of Christ-like love,' Nemelka explained in a phone interview from jail. Ah, I'm sure at times even Joseph Smith had similar noble intent...as if he could "outdo" Jesus Christ, which, btw, he said he could...boasting he was the "only man" who knew how to keep a church together...something, he claimed, Christ didn't do. |
| [7] After finishing his version of the sealed portion, Nemelka floated it around certain circles in the Mormon fundamentalist community. It was a big hit, winning him the admiration of many. Along the way, two women offered to live with him and Jackie under a polygamous relationship. One of them was Vicky Prunty, current director of Tapestry Against Polygamy. Prunty, who married Nemelka in a private ceremony, broke ties with him in 1996. “A lot of fundamentalists believed him. They were extremely angry with him when he leveled with them. I thought he was through with that sealed portion game. It’s really hard to put a finger on him. A lot of people would have to come together to put the pieces of his own personal puzzle together." | Joseph Smith was a polygamist who loved "private" (as in "very" private ceremonies); so, hey, why not a reincarnated "prophet" like Nemelka? |
| [8] There seems to be ample evidence that Nemelka is a good salesman. In an April 2, 1993 letter to one of his wives, which Nemelka admitted to having penned, he wrote: “When I deal with people, I am amazed at the ignorance and stupidity of most. People are so easily manipulated and deceived. Knowing this has made me a near master of manipulation. I try only to use this art, however, to help people. Sometimes the things I do seem terrible at the time, but usually the manipulation works to accomplish that which I intended.” Nemelka’s revelations from jail, styled after Joseph Smith’s revelations from his own jail time, seem to work in similar territory. In a March 16, 2001 revelation to Marie, Nemelka spoke of overhearing one of the Three Nephites, describes his judge as someone who “was wrought upon by forces that her spirit was too weak to control” and described Marie as a mysterious nameless “sister.” | Nemelka was "amazed at the ignorance and stupidity of most...people are so easily manipulated and deceived. Knowing this has made me a near master of manipulation. I try only to use this art, however, to help people. Sometimes the things I do seem terrible at the time, but usually the manipulation works to accomplish that which I intended." Why, no wonder Hyrum Smith descendent Ida Smith immediately recognized Nemelka as a "prophet" reincarnated! How many times did Joseph Smith mutter similar thoughts to himself? |
Make sure every time you reincarnate that you always sign up for that “always poor & homeless” category. OK?
Seems like there are more of these than anything else!
I think I'm in that 'woe to you rich' category.
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