You go, Blue.
(I’m sick of all the Mormon bashing here today.)
When I was first married, I was deeply in love and deeply terrified. Both my husband and I were children of divorce and, frankly, we had no idea *how* to be married. We were “winging” it and I didn’t want this to fail.
I called an older friend one morning and invited myself over for coffee. I showed up with a pencil and a notebook. I sat her down and told her that she had the most beautiful relationship with her husband that I’d ever witnessed. That I wanted my marriage to be like that. I then demanded that she teach me how to be a wife.
She told me that the first thing we needed to do was to accept that the first couple of years would be rough, and to commit to not give up.
She then told me that it was crucial that my new husband and I get ourselves into alignment. We had to align ourselves with G-d, align our values, our dreams, our parenting... everything. She reassured me that this wouldn’t be easy, that it would take time and work. Not to loose hope.
She told me to keep humor alive. To find the joke in every tragedy. To relish the good times.
She told me to tend to his male-pride. To understand that he was different then me and to respect both of our strengths and weaknesses.
And, with gentleness and tact, always be perfectly honest. Not to hide money. Never to talk negatively behind his back. To simply be kind.
She told me that I was to expect kindness and respect in return and not to accept otherwise.
She told me that we should be best friends above all else.
She gave my wonderful marriage a beautiful start. Hubby and I clung to each other even when we wanted to rip each others eyeballs out.
We worked *really* hard to align our values, our dreams, our definition of honor.
This wonderful woman who I love so dearly is a Mormon woman.
I don’t agree with the Mormon Church in many areas, but I have no doubt that Mormons are, in general, loving, kind people who truly are devoted to G-d. They’re not perfect (no human is!) but they are my brothers and sisters and I would *never* interfere with or criticize their relationship with their Father.