Top 15 Ways To Mess Up a Marriage

Aggie Catholics ^ | 6/10/2010 | Marcel LeJeune

[markomalley]

I decided that I would do another "How To Mess Up" list and offer:

Top 15 Ways To Mess Up A Marriage

1. Have Premarital Sex - This can be with your future spouse or not. Regardless, the statistics show that it means a much higher chance of a failed marriage.
2. Cohabitate - This doubles your chance of divorcing your spouse well over 60%! Go with this one if you almost certainly want to mess up a marriage.
3. Cheat on your spouse - This can be with a real person or with porn. Either messes up a marriage.

4. Drink too much or use drugs - This one is a great way to love a thing more than your spouse.
5. Marry a non-Christian - Now, there are certainly marriages that succeed between believers and non-believers, but at the least you are putting a big strain on a relationship.
6. Marry for the wrong reasons - Marrying someone because you have strong emotions about them (which will eventually go away) or because they are good looking (which won't last) is a great way to eventually ruin a marriage.
7. Never Work on Communication - talking is over-rated. You should just learn to tolerate one another, not really communicate.
8. Be a Workaholic - being rich and successful is the most important thing on earth. Right?
9. Be selfish - expect your spouse to serve your every need and never expect to return the favor.

10. Have Different expectations about money or debt - Spend too much, live beyond your means, and then pay the price. Money is the #1 reason that couples argue.
11. Don't tithe - The money is your own, do what you want with it.
12. Use contraception - kids are a burden that make life miserable. Why take the risk? Of course couples that use NFP are happier, have better sex-lives, and stay married more than 95% of the time.
13. Talk negatively about your spouse - who needs to be built up anyway?
14. Make big purchases without talking about it first - want that new car? Go get it!

15. Spend more time with your friends than your spouse - they are probably more fun anyway.

This list is not exhaustive. You could be inventive and come up with another way to mess up a marriage. If you have one, let me know. We did this previously and got some additional ideas I posted here.

[MrEdd]

Join the military.

Few things grind down a marriage like one partner being called up and sent far away much of the time.

[umgud]

Never lie. You can’t respect someone you don’t trust and over time, you can’t love someone you don’t trust.

On the lighter side......... always look at their mother before you propose. She may be a carbon copy in the future.

[surroundedbyblue]

Great list! Now if I could only find a man who thinks this way...

[markomalley]

Great list! Now if I could only find a man who thinks this way...

There's plenty of us.

But I think most are taken already...(sorry)

[CIB-173RDABN]

Interesting list, a little slanted towards religion and not everyone is religious but that does not mean their marriage will fail.

After 40 years of marriage I can agree with many of these points, but it was not always that way.

The wife and I had to adjust to each other and find a balance. The first years were great, then some problem, and then great again.

So my advise is just because things get a little rocky, don’t abandon ship. Most problems can be worked out if you make the effort.

[Sarajevo]

Tell her how big her bum really looks when she wears spandex.

[bmwcyle]

7. Never Work on Communication - talking is over-rated. You should just learn to tolerate one another, not really communicate. — Learn to agree to disagree.

[GonzoII]

"So my advise is just because things get a little rocky, don’t abandon ship. Most problems can be worked out if you make the effort."

Bump.

[GBA]

Trust is like a mirror. Once it’s broken, you never look the same again.

[trisham]

They're out there. Keep looking!

I knew I had found the right man when he told me he'd been an altar boy until he was seventeen. He also called his mother at mid day every day to make sure she was all right. What a guy! :)

[patton]

40 years is one heck of a run.

Maybe my wife will keep me that long.

[trisham]

That probably should go on the list.

[beckysueb]

Excellent point. Spot on!

[Larry Lucido]

16. Don’t have post-marital sex. Not in the “mood”? Your spouse can wait another day. Or two. Or three.

[jagusafr]

So my advise is just because things get a little rocky, don’t abandon ship. Most problems can be worked out if you make the effort.

___________
Post of the day. Communication is crucial, even (maybe especially) if it’s uncomfortable. I credit Mrs. Colonel 95% for increasing my ability to listen to what people are REALLY saying, not just to their words. 25 years this August and she’s my best friend in the world.

Colonel, USAFR

[CBF]

Now if I could only find a man who thinks this way...

What age group are we talking here? My ex-wife did just about all of the above - hence the Ex - some years later and I'm still unsure if there are any girls like Mom still out there.

[SeaHawkFan]

Guys who get laid on a very regular basis don’t want to go out for a drink with their buddies. They also communicate much better when they aren’t worried about getting sex. They also help out around the house a lot more.

“Let’s see, do I want to stop for a drink or go home and get laid? That’s a tough choice.”

If you read the letters to Dr. Laura, it appears that women who decide to give their husbands lots of sex are much happier with their marriages. All of a sudden, their huisbands take out the trash, help in the kitchen and with the kids, etc.

[wbill]

Tell her how big her bum really looks when she wears spandex.

To that end (pun intended), I practice selective ignorance.

"Does this make me look fat?" "Ah, well, I can't tell. What do you think?"

"That girl's bikini is WAY too small!!" "Hunh? Really? I wasn't paying any attention."

"Do you think that Girl's boobs are fake?" "Oh, I dunno about stuff like that."

And so on. Works like a charm.

[CBF]

Sage advice.