Posted on 09/08/2009 11:04:08 PM PDT by ROTB
She's lovely, cares about her mother and attends church regularly. Sounds good so far!
I literally stopped going to my last church because I was sick of men hitting on me and asking me out.....No means No...one guy would show up and wait in the church parking lot to open my door for me after a Bible study class- after I told him NO. Another guy would just keep at it, for an entire YEAR, buying me gifts, stalking me n the internet, posting LOVE LETTERS to me on his internet blog-— and my church members told me I needed to get over my hatred of men, so I could date again.....(and pursue a life of adultry...) I don’t hate men— I LOVE MEN! I just don’t want to date sick men....
I am now happily married to a fellow FREEPer....
I go to church to worship. If a woman wants to be approached by men, YOU WILL KNOW....
If she acts single and available- then just ask her to join you for lunch after church, and invite her mother along. If she acts disinterested in men and dating, show some respect and some class....
Thanks for the ping! I see nothing wrong with taking dear old mom to church. Or maybe it’s the other way around, and the mom is dragging the daughter into the pews. LOL.
Now, if she takes her mom to visit with her friends, then something is terribly wrong.
Keep an eye out on the ballgown inconsistency. See if she ever comes back to church dressed that way. Maybe you flustered her and called attention to her being “overdressed” for the event and that was her comeback (”I always dress like this for Church!”). You already called them out on their fumbling in their purses, so maybe she thought she was being picked on. Who knows.
Take it easy, no pressure :)
Best always!
Just take it slow, get to know her and leak it to a mutual friend you might be interested. The evening dress may just be a quirk, we all have them (your a political nut). Seek guidance in prayer often.
That is about all one can do. Just see where it leads ya.
If you’re dealing with a young woman, ignore the advice to treat her like some sort of slut just because she wears “questionable” church attire. It’s obviously the way she was brought up, not some rebellion against Christ. I don’t know how out-of-line the dress was, but it’s quite possible she never saw it as a sign of disrespect to Christ. If she’s something black and string-strapped that’s one thing; if she’s wearing a teddy with her breasts and butt hanging out, that’s one thing. Just make sure you aren’t interested just because she was wearing something sexy to church... but on the other hand, if that’s not the reason you’re interested in her, it’s healthy and natural if it got your attention.
The biggest mistake is trying to read minds, in my opinion. If you like her, make it clear that you do. If she seems to show signs of liking you in response, make your short-term intentions and long-term values plain. (If they are consistent with each other, there’s no need to say something frighteningly explicit like “I’m looking for a wife”; that’ll be understood in proper time.)
“Be yourself” is one of those maddening cliches. If someone is the right person, being yourself comes naturally. Beyond that, telling someone to be themselves is as logically self-defeating as declaring, “I always lie.” If there’s anything you can prep yourself for, it’s to not allow yourself to any form of presumption, whether it’s planning out what you want to say, dreaming of your future together, or trying to read her mind.
So to directly answer your question: if you don’t already know whether you should ask her mother, or what role her mother has, you can’t know, yet. Don’t worry about it. If you need to know, you’ll find out.
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