“but do you think he puts the sins of the father&mother on to the children?”
No, Scripture is clear on that. However, Adam’s sin damned us all.
“Therefore, as through one man’s offense judgment came to all men, resulting in condemnation, even so through one Man’s righteous act the free gift came to all men, resulting in justification of life.” (Roman’s 5:18)
The free gift is the gospel. Through one man we fell (In Adam’s fall, we sinned all) and through one Man we can be saved (Jesus, the only one without sin, original or otherwise).
God discusses his election, even of children yet unborn, who can’t sin in and of themselves, in Romans 9:10-13 -
“And not only this, but when Rebecca also had conceived by one man, even by our father Isaac (for the children not yet being born, nor having done any good or evil, that the purpose of God according to election might stand, not of works but of Him who calls), it was said to her, ‘The older shall serve the younger.’ As it is written, ‘Jacob I have loved, but Esau I have hated.’”
So here God states that the unborn children had done no good nor evil. Yet His election stands.
The important thing, I think, is to realize that both Jacob and Esau deserved hell, because they were both sinners.
God’s mercy is shown on Jacob, but it is no disservice to Esau. It is just mercy on Jacob.
So often we react, in our sinful nature, as though God has done something wrong or unfair in saving Jacob.