Democrat Presidential Debate Comedy Show Thread

Self | September 25, 2003 | PJ-Comix

[PJ-Comix]

The Democrat presidential debate scheduled for today shows great promise of turning into a comedy show. Why? Many reasons. The biggest reason is the recent entry of Weasely Clark into the campaign. Almost every utterance out of Weasely's mouth has proved to be a laugh line whether he is completely contradicting himself on his support (or non-support) of the Iraq War resolution, claiming that he isn't a military man BECAUSE he served over 30 years in the military, or just plain screeching, "Mary! Help!" I expect great things out of Weasely Clark in the comedy department in today's debate.

The other candidates should also provide many great laugh lines. Why? Because, with the exception of Howard Dean, they are DESPERATE. They NEED to break away from the pack. How will they do this? One will be to launch irresponsible and ridiculous attacks on Bush ala Dick Gephardt in the last debate. In addition to attacking Bush, they will also have to attack Dean. This will be especially true of Ketchup Boy. Now that Weaseley Clark has entered the race, many of his fund raising sources have dried up. The only big source of $$$ left for Ketchup Boy is Mrs. Heinz. But in order to get Mrs. Heinz to shell out the big bucks, Ketchup Boy needs to deliver a memorable performance today which will mean attack, Attack, ATTACK! I expect a lot of comedic material coming out of Ketchup Boy's desperation.

We should expect Dick Gephardt to continue to make a fool of himself attacking Bush in the same irresponsible manner as at the last debate. What adjectives will Dick apply to Bush? "Nasty?" "Mean?" "Doo-Doo head?" All I know is that Dick will try to top his previous performance in the mud-slinging department.

Bob Graham is ALWAYS a great source for humor. In the last debate he froze like a robot when the LaRouche protestors started screaming. It was like his hard drive was telling him "Does not compute! Does not compute!" In addition, look for Graham's bizarre mannerisms such as strange facial tics and eye bulging.

John Edwards should again come off as a goofy frat boy although he may supply some surprise laughs this time.

Joe Lieberman will ATTEMPT to maintain the high road BUT will still come off as hilarious since it will be funny to watch him try to maintain his composure as the rest of the candidates hurl wild charges on the stage. We saw a preview of this in the last debate when a pained (but hilarious) look came over Holy Joe's face when Carol Mosely-Braun wondered aloud why the LaRouche hecklers don't show up at the Republican debates. Ummm....Carol could it be because there are NO Republican presidential debates this campaign season?

The wildest charges as usual should come from Dennis "The Menace" Kucinich. The Boy Mayor of Cleveland who ruined that city during his pathetic administration has gratefully decided to provide us with some great comedic performances this campaign season and I have a feeling that his appearance tonight won't let down our expectations of him.

Al Sharpton has been the BIGGEST surprise of this campaign comedy circuit. When Big Al first announced we all figured he would be the biggest catalyst for comedy by making the other candidates squirm in embarrassment at having to share the stage with Sharpton. Who knew that the other candidates themselves would turn out to be so embarrassing in their performances that Al Sharpton would end up sounding like the voice of reason. An example of this was at the last debate where Sharpton verbally put the protestors down as the other candidates stared out into space like frozen robots.

Finally there is Howard Dean. I don't expect too much comedy from him today since his job is to play rope-a-dope as the other candidates (especially Ketchup Boy) attack him. However, don't worry about Dean's future value as comedy relief. If he is nominated (which is looking more and more likely) Dean will prove to be absolutely HILARIOUS in the big debates next year with Bush since he has already proven extremely capable of delivering the laughs when desperate.

[PJ-Comix]

Post your comments of today's debate on this thread. Please stress the comedic moments so we can flag them for later for the repeat of the debate tonight on MSNBC at 9:00 PM EDT. The debate will FIRST take place today at 4:00 PM EDT on CNBC. Therefore readers of this thread who missed the original broadcast of this debate will be able to note the comedy highlights (or lowlights) and be prepared for the bellylaughs during the MSNBC broadcast.

[PJ-Comix]

Be sure to weigh in with your favorite comedy highlights of today's show.

[LongsforReagan]

I came home early from work for this one. Deans program is the best, raising taxes!!! A winning platform for sure. I am hoping that Howie rips Clark a new one.

[PJ-Comix]

This is the ONE TRUE Democrat Debate thread. All other such threads are APOSTATES and should be EXORCISED from this forum and any posts made to them should be considered heretical anti-posts.

[PJ-Comix]

Will this debate prove to be as funny as the Joe Schmo Show? Anyway, we will have a Joe (Holy Joe) who is a Schmo (sounds like Elmer Fudd) but will he be as funny as the other Joe Schmo?

[PJ-Comix]

Hey! They are going to have a game show bell in this debate.

[PJ-Comix]

Howard Dean just invoked the name of Rush Limbaugh right off the bat....AGAIN.

[Solamente]

It's on the radio - NPR - WNYC in New York at least...

[PJ-Comix]

Big Al just took a good shot at Holy Joe.

[LongsforReagan]

These people are all clowns. We must not allow any of them to be elected.

[PJ-Comix]

We must not allow any of them to be elected.

But we must keep them on TV. We need the LAUGHS!

[PJ-Comix]

Good Kerry/Dean sniping now.

[LongsforReagan]

Kerry seems to be doing the best. Its do or die time for the man with anguished eyebrows!

[LongsforReagan]

John Edwards is toast. He should go into newcasting,teleprompt reading. He has nothing.

[PJ-Comix]

Weasley Clark looks like he is reading his answers from a set of Cliff Notes.

[PJ-Comix]

This debate has the feel of a Jeopardy Game Show because of that bell. It wouldn't surprise me if it actually is the Jeopardy bell.

[PJ-Comix]

Almost NO questions asked of Weasley Clark. I wish Mr. Blow-Dry would ask Weasley about the Matt Drudge headline and story about him that just appeared.

[PJ-Comix]

The funniest part about this debate will be when it is over and Weasley Clark expects questions about the debate but will instead be slammed with questions aboaut the Drudge Report just released about a tape of him heaping HUGE PRAISE on Bush and his team....and also slamming the European governments.

[floriduh voter]

Needing a good laugh, I bookmarked this. If you cover another debate, please ping floriduh voter.

[freeparoundtheclock]

Edwards should get a nice job at the local mall selling orthopedic shoes. But, that's not to say I'd actually buy any from him. Ding.

The set looks like Star Wars. Too bad Hitlery can't beam them off the stage with her death stare.