Lament of the Single Woman (Women & Marriage)

I want to talk about ME.

"Two people need to understand before they start that it is a situation where one must give 110% and expect nothing back. That is a quote from my dad."

Since your dad said that, I will disagree, gingerly. People have to be saints to give everything, get nothing, and live with it. On the other hand, if a marriage has problems (inevitable), but on the other hand gives the husband and wife the pleasure and comfort of company, it will survive.

The key to a lifetime of company, is coming to grips with the fact that there is a part of your husband (wife) that will always be "other," and letting it go; just letting it go. Then you can relax into a long friendship; which may be the best part of marriage.

Men marry a woman thinking she won't change. Women marry a man thinking she can change him. They are both wrong.

I tell women that if the guy isn't perfect in their eyes, keep looking. I tell men that if they can't smile at their woman on her worst day, keep looking.

The main thing to remember is that love is easy, like is hard. You need both.

Fascinating thread.

Had to get my two cents in.

Have any pearls of wisdom to dispense?

No news on the neighbor front.

I'll have to read the entire thing tonight - but just out of curiosity, you DO remember how long I've been married, right? lol....... I'm not sure I even REMEMBER being single......lol

Keep watching for that family R...... they're coming......lol

That is by far the best explanation I have heard to date.

I got to take a model to my 20th class reunion. It was amazing to see the spiteful reactions from so many now adult women who had not the slightest interest in me as a youth. It probably did not help to say that I could now afford their daughters at this point...That and havibng a rather sizable stacks of chips at the crap table all night.

Sounds awesome! I think we are on the same page here. My high school 20th will come up in 2006 - screw them. I was never much of a joiner anyway. Taking control of your life, though, will cause the greatest eruption of spite in the greatest number of people in your life.

Get new friends is always my motto. Drop the dead weight in your life.

And if you had chips, I hope you were in my hometown of Las Vegas! Now, that's a city, friend! :-)

"Watch blind date nightly and see the mistakes dorks make!"

Have you ever watched ElimiDate? I swear I hate everyone on that show. The women always tend to be slutty and catty (the catty part is the worst to me) and the men tend to just be looking for a piece of a$$.

Blind Date is funny to me and at the beginning of the wave of so called 'Reality Shows.' (I don't watch any of the reality shows, by the way). It is basically innocent and dating is something everyone can relate to. I laugh so hard at times at how two people can be so disconnected. The guy invariably says 'She was really into me' and the girl usually says 'I'll never date him again!'

It makes me laugh, what can I say? But it is good for the student of dating to watch. Guys invariably kill themselves by talking too much, not genuinely being inetrested in his date, or some major flub up like talking too much about the girl's body. I'm no casanova, but these guys are out to lunch!

Elimidate is made by the same producers and I saw one and didn't like it at all. It takes the natural charm of 'Blind Date' and makes it a mean spirited, selfish competition. I never tuned in again.

For what it's worth, check the closing credits on those shows - the staff is dominated by men, and the main producers and segment producers and writers are mostly men. Kinda funny, I always thought.

Thanks for the response and it may surprise you to learn that to a very large extent, I agree with you.

For years, I have considered women in your age group as the last generation of 'real women.' The best relationship I ever had, by far, was with a woman 8 years my senior, back in grad school. She is 43 now, I'm 35, and we haven't been together in ages, but she is an awesome woman - beauty and strength inside and out, to this day.

Anyway, my analysis has a method to its madness. The younger a woman is, the less likely she is to have been married, divroced, had a kid, or lots of bad past relationships and emotional baggage. I'm selfish - I don't want to deal with other guy's emotional junk they dumped on women.

Personally, I have relatively little baggage for a man my age, so I am not seeking anything I don't offer myself.

The fact that you are a California gal speaks volumes for you - all good things! I was a northeasterner, a NYCer in fact, until I moved away to the west last year. It's like night and day. And it's not phsyical - I think women back east are much more negative than the women in the rest of the nation. I echo a sentiment when I say "I wish they all could be california girls!!"

As for your generation, though I'm about a decade removed from it, my parents had me after about a decade of being married. My dad was a WW2 Vet. I was born in '68, by all rights, I 'should' have been born in '58 or so, if they didn't delay having kids. So much of the values and background that you identify with mirrors my own upbringing, also.

In fact, the woman from my past made a great observation once - most of my closest friends have always been about a decade older than me, give or take. Coincidence? Nope - she insists that even though the calendar says I was born in 1968, I have more in common with kids born in the mid 50s to early 1960s or so. Makes sense to me - and it explains that phenomenon.

So try telling a 24 year old girl that even though I am a huge Sinatra fan, I prefer Elvis's 'My Way' to Sinatra's!! :-) Or that Neil Diamond is one of the greatest american songwriters ever! Haha! Yep, when the conversation switches to madonna's newest album, I confess I get disinterested and lost! Maybe I should take your advice - maybe you have some friends who you could introduce me to! :-)

That being said, I do think you give the boomers too much credit - I have disdain for most of them I meet and they characterize me as very self cenetred, very self absorbed, and very short sighted. As they approach senior citizenship in the coming decade+, I expect them to do what they do best - treat us all to a self-cenetred temper tantrum, cry and whine, and haunt our tv screens blaming away all their problems on someone or something else.

So shiza all you want, and while I idenitfy with many members of your generation (and aI feel kin to them myself as I described) when zero hour comes, and teh Baby Boomers do what they do best, that is start to crumble when things get rough, me and my people are simply going to have to kick all your @sses!!! ;-)

In that battle, you guys will have age and experience. My side will have youth and vigor. Oh yea, and I'm a turncoat - I'll provide the age and experience to the youth camp. The Boomers will certainly go bust.

After all, isnt't your poster child Bill Clinton? Yep, you guys are the shiza! ;-)

No rational guy is going to trade in a twenty-something toned, busty, hottie for a 19-year-old anything. Trust me on this. The 19-year-olds are too much into their own late-adolescence, regardless of how toned their bodies are.

Yep - adolescence now extends well past the teens and into the 30s for many men and women. I'm 35 and it's hard to find a real woman in my preferred age range: 22-27.

I'm at least holding out for a meal where you go in and sit down.

For such a special occasion, I'd spurge and take you to Denny's. ;-)

(gasp!) I LOVE Denny's! ;^)

Interesting Reply Hitman NY, hmmm I agree with alot of what you said BUT! No Gen Xer is capable of kicking ass with any knowlede Boomers have! ya just can't do it no way no how...
Our generation stood for human rights equal rights for women pro-choice even though my feelings are somewhat on the fence when it comes to that.
Our Music definetly is the SHIZA!!!! we are the real people generation!! problems of course Drugs, Promiscuity. But proably Drugs were the biggest problem while Gen Xer's problems seem to be looking for the best doc's to give them Breast and Lip Implants! But you do not sound like a true Gen Xer so maybe you have a class all of your own maybe you can take the best of both generations.

I just have to tell you that this new generaton I see stands for pretty much nothing! they worry about being politically and socially correct FORGET THAT! Have a party invite your neighbors over talk about making the world a better place to live in listen to some cool tunes Sinatra, Diamond Rolling Stones? Have a glass of wine or a cold beer and of course coming from me a little pot never hurt anyone. (oops I'm Bad) Boomers range from 40 this year to 58, the biggest population in the world right now.

All I can say is you sound like you are in the middle somewhere..maybe the 35 to 40 yrs olds will make the world a better place than Boomers have and what Gen Xers are incapable of doing.
PEACE!!!
SusieQ

Oh! One more thing Hitman NY, don't mean to bug you, but I need to get this off my mind also.

You say your target age for a woman you would be interested in is between the age of 22 and 27 BAD CHOICE do you really think those girls want to settle down become responsible, be a loving devoted faithful wife???NOT In 2003 that age JUST WANTS TO HAVE FUN..Look at Girls gone wild on "E" there role models are Pink, Brittney, Christina and all the other looser singers they want to emulate. I have quite a few female friends in there early 30's 34 to 38 that have never been married looking for stability in there life, they look forward to starting families, are college educated, are fun healthy, attractive, have class and manners really are no longer into the trashy party scene. They tell me the problem for them in finding a suitable partner is that the men 35 to 50 that would be halfway decent are married, the ones younger than 35 are irresponsible, and the ones over 50 want the age group you are seeking. (Male Mid-Life Crisis)
Leave the teenie boppers to there age group so they can figure out life together, and look for someone around your age I will tell you that type of woman is what will bring you stability and happiness even though you might not know that now...
I will tell you from experience 22 to 27 I would of made a horrible partner for a man because life was about me, me ,me. no I wasn't a sleaze but I definetly was into what I wanted to do and did not want to have to consider someone else's feelings. Age and maturity is what made me grow up to be a loving giving partner. But Good luck, love to hear what your future romantic interest brings you and I am not being sarcastic...:-) Keep the Peace!