Posted on 06/23/2003 12:48:58 PM PDT by Cinnamon Girl
Al’s Super Station: An All-Star Line up for the Discriminating Liberal!
The newest cable news mogul, former Vice President Al Gore, has already greenlighted several pilots for the fall line up, pitched this week at the ASS network studios, located in the bottom half of a duplex Gore has just purchased in the Boyle Heights area of Los Angeles (see Sunday’s “Hot Properties” for details). While still in negotiations with Al Sharpton, Gore has already locked in some of the top names in politics and film, including Ben Affleck, Jimmy Carter, and a giant in both arenas: Barbra Streisand.
Now in production:
“WHITE DEVIL, WHITE CRACKER”: Bill (“our first black president”) Clinton and Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm apologize for 400 years of American White Male oppression and suppression of African-Americans and all peoples of color. At the end of every show, the hosts will be joined by the oppressed African American community of the week for a group hug.
“WHO’S NEXT?”: Janeane Garafalo promises non-stop laughs and a little learning too, when she hosts an all new game show which asks the question: “Which country will our Imperialist United States military industrial complex invade and enslave next?” Contestants who make it to the final “lightening round” will have thirty seconds to enumerate the many lies of George W. Bush.
“THE HAPPY PEACE AND FREEDOM VILLAGE”: Join Rosie O’Donnell and Janet Reno as they celebrate freedom from discrimination on the basis of race, religion, or sexual orientation with a happy village inhabited by the Progressive Puppets of Color Gang.
“SURVIVOR: SHUAFAT”: Reality t.v. takes a whole new twist when Berkeley undergrads take their junior year abroad in the Arab-Israeli neighborhood of Shuafat, Jerusalem. Participants will live in the homes of local families and learn what it is like to face violence and oppression on a daily basis at the hands of the IDF. Some of the challenges the Berkeley kids can expect to face: which station to watch on their host family’s satellite t.v. and whether to throw rocks at the bus or take the family car to the Jerusalem Mall for dinner and a movie.
“AL THE OUTDOORSMAN”: Al Gore takes off the suit and tie and gets busy teaching us all how to be a friend to the environment. Come outside with Al as he shows you around his ranch in Carthage, Tennessee; meet the team of hamsters that power Al’s household generator on their exercise wheels, learn how raw sewage can be composted and spread on the family vegetable garden, and kick back on the porch for a refreshing glass of iced tea made from recycled human urine while Al reflects upon the time he saved Carthage from the Romans with just a handful of radishes and a prayer.
...Al Gore's Greatest Inventions.
How they stole my election - bwhaaaaa
How to convert manure to low cal ice cream.
How to use hot air from dummycrats convention to power weather balloons.
How Hitlery took the village (of idiots to buy her stupid book)
barf, barf, barf ...
She's really an idiot if this is how she wants to go out in the public eye. I still can't forget the visual of Babs being hoisted over the wall to gain entry to Bill's party. I'll never forget her sick words relating to James Brolin in that he wasn't afraid to reveal his feminine side. Yuck. I can't even imagine what she can offer the country other than her wonderful voice.....except hate.
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