"Pole thitting? Where do I thign up?"
Posted on 05/15/2003 10:23:57 AM PDT by Jimmyclyde
Iron buttocks in pole-sitting battle
By Dave Graham BERLIN (Reuters) - After 15 days sitting on top of a two-and-a-half-metre (eight-foot) high pole, a momentary shift of his buttocks shatters Benjamin Buettner's dreams of glory in the 2003 World Pole-Sitting Championships.
The contestants must stay on the pole day and night, squatting on a 40 by 60 cm (15 by 23 inch) board -- about the size of a broadsheet's front page. They may come down for only 10 minutes every two hours to perform their ablutions.
"If you get back up there a second late, you're out," said organiser Klaus Mueller from the Heide Park Soltau amusement park in western Germany where the event is staged.
Ladders allow competitors to go up and down and also supply them with food and drink or whatever distractions they need to while away the hours on their bird-like perches.
To make sure no one cheats when the rest of the world has gone to bed, electronic sensors attached to the board monitor the pressure of backsides. Video cameras run constantly, as 22-year-old ambulanceman Buettner found out.
"He tried to dupe us by pressing on the board with his hands and stealing a few seconds of respite on the ladder, but the camera caught him and the judges threw him out," said Mueller.
This year's field of iron-bottomed contestants includes the reigning world pole-sitting champion, a 27-year-old mechanic who happens to be a Pole. Egypt, Hungary and Germany were also represented, but for some the stakes were too high.
With the contest entering its 17th day, only six of the 10 starters remain in the fray. They are bracing for a long wait.
"The current world record stands at 196 days. This year they want to crack the 200-day mark," Mueller said.
That would mean sitting on the pole until mid-November.
The unusual sport dates back to 1952, when villages in the Dutch province of Holland were flooded and inhabitants sat on top of poles until rescuers arrived.
The Dutch are the sport's purists.
"The Dutch competitions mimic the original scene. There, you don't get to sit on a board, and you can't come down. The winner is the last one to fall into the water," Mueller said.
Nah. Too cheap a pun...
"Pole thitting? Where do I thign up?"
Wusses!
5.56mm
Those Wily Germans
(Vancouver Sun, n.d. Spotter - Elizabeth Rushton)
"In retrospect, I admit it was unwise to try to gain access to my house via the cat flap," Gunther Burpus admitted to reporters in Bremen, Germany. "I suppose that the reason they're called cat flaps, rather than human flaps, is because they're too small for people, and perhaps I should have realized that."
Burpus, a forty-one year old gardener from Bremen, was relating how he had become trapped in his own front door for two days, after losing his house keys. " I got my head and shoulders through the flap, but became trapped fast around the waist. At first, it all seemed rather amusing. I sang songs and told myself jokes. But then I wanted to go to the lavatory.
I began shouting for help, but my head was in the hallway so my screams were muffled. After a few hours, a group of students approached me but, instead of helping, they removed my trousers and pants, painted my buttocks bright blue, and stuck a daffodil between my cheeks. Then they placed a sign next to me which said 'Germany resurgent, an essay in street art. Please give generously' and left me there.
People were passing by and, when I asked for help, they just said "Very good!Very clever!' and threw coins into my trousers. No one tried to free me. In fact, I only got free after two days because a dog started licking my private parts and an old woman complained to the police. They came and cut me out, but arrested me as soon as I was freed. Luckily they've now dropped the charges, and I collected over DM3,000 in my underpants, so the time wasn't entirely wasted."
Isn't it already taken though? Weren't they the guys who did "Ontoppapointlesstick"?
This year's field of iron-bottomed contestants includes the reigning world pole-sitting champion, a 27-year-old mechanic who happens to be a Pole
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