Are Turtles Protected Under the Second Amendmant?

ESPN ^ | 2003 | Keith "Catfish" Sutton

[kissoldspot]

Out There: The trouble with turtles

You might think these animals are innocent enough, but you had better watch out; they can inflict serious pain and cause quite a panic

By Keith "Catfish" Sutton

Special to ESPNOutdoors.com

Politicians are trying to fight crime by making it illegal to own various types of firearms. So far, the stumpers haven't tried banning turtles. But it's only a matter of time.

Consider the plight of Tony Brewer in Balch Springs, Texas. Brewer was in a phone booth when two men approached, shoved a snapping turtle in his face and said, "Don't move or you're gonna get bit."

[Ken H]

Certain kinds of shells are banned in California, I believe.

[The Hon. Galahad Threepwood]

An alligator snapper can actually chase down an adult woman with her foot stuck in two inches of mud and kill her.

I saw it in Frogs.

[Young Rhino]

There will be a five-day waiting period for a turtle background check.

If Clinton dies from a snapper wound, it won't have anything to do with a turtle.

Yertle the Turtle (Dr. Seuss) will become the new NRA mascot.

Will all turtles be banned, assault turtles, semiautomatic turtles, and can one buy a trigger lock for a turtle? BTW, where the heck is a trigger on a turtle? Doesn't that run afoul Bowers v. Hardwick or some San Fran gerbil law?

[supercat]

The laws to disarm blacks used to forbid dogs. Amazing how things come full-circle.

[Young Rhino]

The laws to disarm blacks used to forbid dogs.

Jim Crow was used against Fido?

[Wilhelm Tell]

If turtles are outlawed, only outlaws will have trutles.

[inquest]

Well, let's see, we'd first have to determine if they're conducive towards a well-regulated militia...

[Consort]

One victims family was quoted as saying, "The incident tortoise a lesson."

[spectr17]

Turtles don't kill Zerbonians,
Zerbonians kill Zerbonians

[Double Tap]

They can have my turtle when they pry it from my wet, slimey hands!!!

[PatrioticAmerican]

I am all for armed turtles, and bears, as long as they are our side.

[spectr17]

When hunting snapping turtles in the nude,
NEVER wade in past your knees.

[BenR2]

An alligator snapper can actually chase down an adult woman with her foot stuck in two inches of mud and kill her.

//////////
Wow! Thanks for warning us!

[PeaceBeWithYou]

Gamera: Say it ain't so, Joe!

[pabianice]

They can have my turtle when they pry it from my wet, slimey hands!!!

Sorry. Turtles -- like the other reptiles -- are dry-skinned. Don't blame your own slime on them.

[Billthedrill]

No, no, no - only bears are covered by the Second Amendment.

[theFIRMbss]

[Robert A Cook PE]

Of course turtles are protected under the second amendment....

As long as they have kept bearing their arms that is, and their shells are loaded.

But a concealed carry of a loaded turtle is difficult, unless you're willing to disguise yourself as a pregnant lady.

[Robert A Cook PE]

Turtles are dry skinned?

Neigh, neigh moose breath!

We had to keep cleaning the algea of off the back of our red-earred slider every week. He couldn't swallow unless he was underwater....

(Perhaps you're thinking of the dry-land, grass-eating tortoises?)