"CUTUD, Philippines (Reuter) - Fourteen people were crucified in the Philippines on Good Friday and dozens whipped their own backs into bloody pulp as the country commemorated the death of Jesus Christ nearly 2,000 years ago. [Some people know how to party.] One Japanese and 13 Filipinos were nailed to wooden crosses [What? No Southerners?] under a broiling noon sun while thousands of tourists from the United States, Japan and Europe gawked at the spectacle in Asia's only majority Catholic country. The Catholic Church however frowns on the bloody rites which combine Catholic fervour with traditional primitive beliefs. Schinichiro Kaneko, a 28-year-old Japanese Catholic from Tokyo, screamed in pain as gleaming five-inch nails were hammered into his palms and feet by Filipinos dressed as Roman centurions. [I know what you're thinking: Where did they get their uniforms? Jarnaginicus Maximus?] ``I take responsibility for all these troubles,'' Kaneko said in a statement absolving local officials from any charges in case he died while impaled on the cross. He was taken down 10 minutes later and wept while scores of Filipinos laughed. [The impression obviously went sour. Tough crowd. Some people are hard to please.]