BOYCOTT SCHMOYCOTT

Moi ^ | April 16, 2003 | THE BELOVED DEB

[Deb]

I love Ed Harris. Ed Harris is gorgeous. He's a brilliant actor who brings power and believability to every character he plays.

So infinite is my love for the palomino-haired Harris and his swoon-inducing jaw of desire, that when he refused to stand in respect for Elia Kaza's acceptance of a Life Achievement Oscar a few years ago, I let it pass.

Yes, I thought it was childish and petty for the otherwise perfect Harris to sit with his arms folded petulantly and his crystalline baby-blue eyes sternly staring daggers of condemnation at one of Hollywood's most gifted directors. And all because Kazan cared more about his country than his politics. But, I thought, lots of people are misinformed about the days of the Hollywood Ten and I figured Ed would eventually come around. Heck, maybe I could save him.

Then came the NARAL dinner.

There was my beloved saying some very harsh (and goofy) things about my president not being "a real man". Yikes.

Eddie, Eddie, Eddie...come back to the light, mon cherie. Quel disappointment. I casually checked to see if his butt was a tight and high as ever and, sure enough, it was perfection. Unfortunately, Ed himself seemed a tad dumber. Was that possible?

I decided to kill the taste of the troublesome NARAL event by watching my Academy tape of "A Beautiful Mind". Harris is so good and so yummy in that movie that I just knew it would drive all unwanted negative images of my, possibly brain-damaged, idol out of my mind. I took comfort in the notion that the object of my desire had probably been bullied and corrupted by his shrill and contolling (shudder) wife (who was not only not good enough for him, but also aging badly).

As I watched Harris go about creating the character that brought him an Oscar nomination, my heart sank with a huge splash. All I could see was the childish, petty Harris who sat so hatefully, with his arms folded and his humanity diminished while a truly great man received a much deserved (and much delayed) tribute.

I contorted uncomfortably in my seat. Beads of pearly sweat danced on my brow. This wasn't good. Yummy people couldn't become flavorless or worse...inedible (!) over-night! Could they?

I raced to my library of films and yanked out "The Truman Show". Besides "The Right Stuff", where Harris played uber-hero, astronaut and ultimately, cranky Senator John Glenn, his lip-puckering, Oscar-winning portrayal of the beret-wearing TV director in "The Truman Show", is surely his manliest.

Uh, oh! Could it be? Instead of dreamy, he seemed cruel and self-obsessed. Desperately, I exchanged "The Truman Show" DVD for "Pollock". In "Pollock" his talent was electric. He was born to play this complicated man and he had been rewarded with yet another Oscar nomination.

But as I watched my future husband recreate the flawed genius who was Jackson Pollock...I thought he looked short.

I ran to the window and screamed down the hill to the cocooned drivers on the Hollywood freeway, "THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!!!!!"

But it was. I had lost my passion for Ed Harris. The blindness of my love had been cured. And why? I'll tell you why...because of his arrogant need to make me hear his stupid political views! This, in turn, forced me to see him as mortal, fallible and jerky. The idol had fallen. And I noticed it had a bald spot.

And so it has been with other "celebrities", actors, singers and acid-tongued comedians I used to hold dear.

Now that she parrots Gaulish, left-wing Democrat talking points, Janeane Garofalo just doesn't seem so brilliantly funny. And to me, George Clooney is no longer the new Clark Gable. Dustin Hoffman has become the Rain Man. Ed Begley always gave me the creeps so no loss there, but I have liked Jim Carrey since "In Living Color" and I thought Ben Affleck had a real future as a leading man (in spite of "Sum of All Fears"). Now I can't bear to look at any of them.

I'll never buy another Barbra Streisand CD. And not because of any boycott, but just because she doesn't seem that gifted anymore. Likewise, Sheryl Crow, the Dixie Chicks, Michael Stipe and Madonna. In fact, as soon as some bonehead entertainer stands under a "No Blood For Oil" sign or wears a stupid anti-war T-shirt (paging Viggo Mortensen), my brain creates some kind of celebrity anti-virus and makes me immune to their talent.

Example: Jessica Lange's nose has never seemed so smushed against her face.

So all the show biz guilds and unions can save their breath whining about "McCarthyism" and "punishing Americans for speaking out". The anti-virus in my brain isn't listening. It has decided that being for this country and its president, is more compelling, sexy and entertaining than being against. I have no control over my feelings.

Tom Selleck once said (and I'm paraphrasing) "I don't know that I ever lost a job because of my politics, but I know I never got one."

Selleck is a patriot, a conservative and a Republican who, though gorgeous and hugely popular, has seen his career fade while nothing Robert Downey Jr. does renders him unemployable.

I have a feeling that now that this war is pretty much in the history books and our president is free to move on to domestic issues, the sour smells that emanated from the Martin Sheens, Sean Penns and Tim Robbins', will make them impossible to watch. Americans just might demand that Tom Selleck be elected to "The West Wing". They may find themselves immune to its current star.

[Deb]

And that goes double for french crap.

[Pearls Before Swine]

And that goes double for french crap.

It just doesn't taste (wine, cheese) or smell as good (perfume) as it used to.

[Right Wing Professor]

Great piece, Deb.

[newgeezer]

Cute.

:-)

[RooRoobird14]

Ed Harris was at 10+ on the hunky scale in "The Right Stuff." But alas, he's proven in real life to be as big a panty waist as Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon.

Harris is on my boycott list from now on for his vicious rants against President Bush. He's a disgrace to the marine uniforn he wore, even if it was just for a movie role. I'll bet the real U.S. Marines wouldn't give Harris the time of day if they heard the nasty things Harris has said about President Bush.

[Bahbah]

"his swoon-inducing jaw of desire...."
LOL. I especially loved this.

[joesnuffy]

Selleck is a patriot, a conservative and a Republican who, though gorgeous and hugely popular, has seen his career fade while nothing Robert Downey Jr. does renders him unemployable.

Yep and if we as "conservatives" threw our tv sets on the lawns of every tv station in america along with all our cds dvds vcrs and home theater equipment... We would probably do what.....go nuts..... READ BOOKS....spend more time talking to our friends family....Our Kids... yet we devote all our precious time on earth to the financial support and king making of these freakin losers no these traitorous haters of our souls... in Hollywood, Music Sports News & Politics... The cult of the personality ......is killin us

[Mamzelle]

Palimino-haired?

He's *bald*.

[Atlas Sneezed]

He also did a fine job portraying the patriotic, buzz-cut, Marine Corp, Sousa-playing, steely-eyed-missle-man, Apollo hero Flight Director Gene Kranz, in Apollo 13, another casting against type.

These Hollywood loons need to learn that they are not necessarily good at anything besides playing "pretend."

[js1138]

The real John Glen turned out to be no better. Down on his knees in a heartbeat in exchange for a Shuttle ride.

[BunnySlippers]

I have never seen a West Wing. But do they ever have elections?

[Petronski]

I know how you feel, Deb. Oh how I have looked forward to visiting Normandy this spring...and even now I'd still like to see it again. But I know I could not enjoy it, because as good as the people of Normandy are, I would not be able to put out of my mind how my visit was also enriching all of France, even by my modest hospitality budget. I'd like to go to visit the France of 1999 (the last time I visited), when the American administration was just as putridly, perfidiously socialist as the French, and the sting was not nearly as bad in contrast.

[RooRoobird14]

You're right. The real John Glenn ended up being as big of a Clinton apologist/loser as John Kerry. Both are scumbag politicians first, veterans second.

[afraidfortherepublic]

Love the essay! But you could improve it by avoiding the smattering of (dare I say "french"?) words throughout. After all, if we are going to boycott, it must be complete! No more "eff" phrases! They no longer sound intellectual.

BTW, I noticed that cases and cases of "eff" wine in my supermarket were marked at $5.77/bottle, while the California varieties have held their prices at $10 - $15.00/bottle! Living well is the best revenge!

[onedoug]

How much are studios paying audiences to go see their films these days?

[mabelkitty]

I heard he had a very serious affair with Melanie Griffith. Is that true?

[Charlesj]

There was something about Harris' and Nolte's refusal to applaud Elia Kazan that bothered me a lot more than their and others' political ranting. Perhaps because Kazan was about 90. Perhaps because his talent was SO much larger than theirs. But I now avoid films with Harris, like Pollack or whatever it's called. I do think Alec Baldwin is a good character actor. The rest are all wimps (except Nolte, who's just nuts).

[nothingnew]

Do you write for some romance magazine?....Crikees!

FMCDH

[Fred Mertz]

I really liked the character Andy Dufresne in THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION.

[Rummyfan]

Sigh.... Jessica Lange in TOOTSIE and MEN DON'T LEAVE...... now I can't watch her any more.

Cheryl Crow - THE GLOBE SESSSIONS one of my fav CDs .... not anymore.

Actually thought BULL DURHAM was a pretty funny slice-of-life in the minor leagues and the Costner character Crash Davis was a closet conservative (evidence: his speech to the Sarandon character about what he believes in). And Nuke Laloosh - I think that IS Tim Robbins!

These people are entertainers - when they open their mouths in the real world to opine on real subjects and reveal themselves to be a couple bricks shy of a load, it disappoints us.

One last note - I have never watched nor ever will watch THE WEST WING!