Dog translation device coming to U.S.

Reuters ^ | 3/24/3

[Carpet Kitten]

If you're wondering why your pooch howls at the moon, growls at the mailman or barks uncontrollably at squirrels, the answer may be only a click away.

A Japanese toy maker claims to have developed a gadget that translates dog barks into human language and plans to begin selling the product -- under the name Bowlingual -- in U.S. pet stores, gift shops and retail outlets this summer.

[Mamzelle]

Hey, make a translator for Monkeys--then we'll all understand French.

[try phecta tom]

They will be available as soon as we finish interogations with the POW's

[dead]

If your dog barks when you give him this, he's calling you a "sucker" in dog language.

[Paleo Conservative]

This would be useful for understanding Janine Garafalo.

[martin_fierro]

Arf arf woof woof arf woof bark.

So there. <|:P~

[Hildy]

$120...I know exactly what my dogs are saying to me:

GIVE ME FOOD and I NEED TO POOP.

[the gillman@blacklagoon.com]

The majority of canine communication is non verbal.

[Conspiracy Guy]

Just a dang minute. Don't confuse Dogs and Pigs. Calling Garafalo a dog is gonna get a lot of dog lovers PO'd.

[Arkinsaw]

I can already translate dog:

Woof.......woof woof.......woof woof woof.......woof

Translates to:

Hey........hey hey.......hey hey hey.........hey

[Fabozz]

"One thing that does appear certain is that the market for animal translation products will likely remain a dog's world since Takara has no plans to develop a similar device for cats."

Why on earth not? You could make a cat translator for about $1 in parts. All you need is a sound chip programmed to switch randomly between three phrases: "Pet me!", "Feed me!" and "F*** off!" It could even have a more accurate, advanced translation mode that picks the third choice twice as often as the other two combined.

[BillCompton]

You stole this from a Gary Larson Cartoon, right?

[vollmond]

I heard there was a translator for cats attempted as well, but the effort had to be abandoned. It turns out that cats have more than 50 ways to say, "I hold you in complete disdain", and the translator algorithms would break down when determining nuance and context.

[Arkinsaw]

Harry Shearer I believe.

[Publius6961]

BUMP

[boris]

"Bowlingual"

Sounds like a translator for intestinal gas.

Or maybe the noises made at bowling alleys.

--Boris

[Johnny Gage]

Calling Garafalo a dog is gonna get a lot of dog lovers PO'd.

And calling her a pig will not put you in good graces with the Hog farmers either, because it insults the very intelligent hogs.

[the gillman@blacklagoon.com]

I think the Larson cartoon was what dogs hear,

"Blah blah blah Sparky! Blah blah blah blah."

[CounterCounterCulture]

ARF ARF ARF = Cat cat cat
ARF ARF ARF = dog dog dog
ARF ARF ARF = squirrel
ARF ARF ARF = falling leaf falling leaf 
ARF ARF ARF = moon moon moon
ARF ARF ARF = unknown human
ARF ARF ARF = mailman
ARF ARF ARF = food food food
ARF ARF ARF = I need to crap
ARF ARF ARF = I have crap stuck on my butt
ARF ARF ARF = I'm sexually aroused
ARF ARF ARF = I've been neutered, damn you
ARF ARF ARF = I'm stupid so I'll keep the neighbors up all night

[RosieCotton]

Hey........hey hey.......hey hey hey.........hey

Hmm...let me guess...you have a Golden or a Lab? ;-)

This thing sounds amusing...but nothing more. For one thing, there IS the breed thing. When my dachshund growls, USUALLY it's because my cat is trying to use her as a hot water bottle, and it means something like "Get off of me, cat, I'm trying to sleep". I imagine a larger dog who wasn't so lazy would mean something quite different...