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Why Government is Screwed Up (Humor)
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Posted on 03/05/2003 6:34:00 AM PST by dark_lord

Travel Agent of 30+ years:

I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.

I got a call from a Candidate's Staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response ... (click).

A Senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin state!!!"

I got a call from a Lawmakers Wife who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." She said, "But they look so close on the map."

An Aide for a Bush cabinet member once called and asked if they could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed they had only a 1-hour lay-over in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between the gates to save time."

An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!

A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know who's luggage belongs to who?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight, I think that is very rude?" After putting her on hold for a minute while I "looked into it" (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, CA is (FAT), and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.

A Senator's Aide called in inquiring about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"

I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them."

A Lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, FL. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?" I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever!!"

A Senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said,"Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!"

A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York" The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent: "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the lady. After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere." The lady retorted, "Oh don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is.Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" "That's it! I knew it was a big animal", she admitted!!!

Now you know why government is in the shape that it's in!


TOPICS: Government; Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: congresscritters; travelagents
May be all "urban rumor", or might be in the category of "truth is stranger than fiction".
1 posted on 03/05/2003 6:34:00 AM PST by dark_lord
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To: dark_lord
Can anyone name any Congresswomen from Maine and New Mexico??
2 posted on 03/05/2003 6:41:20 AM PST by DonQ
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To: dark_lord
Notice she didn't mention any names but 1. President Bush.
3 posted on 03/05/2003 6:47:49 AM PST by surelyclintonsbaddream
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To: DonQ
New Mexico: Congresswoman Heather Wilson. I suspect that if these stories are true, they don't distinguish between federal and state legislators.
4 posted on 03/05/2003 6:52:10 AM PST by dark_lord
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To: dark_lord
After watching Leno's "Jaywalking" I don't doubt this in the least. I alreadey know our congress is out of touch with the Constitution they swore an oath to uphold, why not the rest of the world.
5 posted on 03/05/2003 6:52:58 AM PST by duk
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To: dark_lord
I've seen at least a couple of those in the Readers' Digest funny anecdotes section, untied to politicans. And more are familiar but I can't place why (and definitely not related to politicans).
6 posted on 03/05/2003 6:56:28 AM PST by Nataku X (Never give Bush any power you wouldn't want to give to Hillary.)
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To: surelyclintonsbaddream
bingo
7 posted on 03/05/2003 6:56:39 AM PST by 1rudeboy
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To: dark_lord
...A Senior Vermont Congressman...

Bernie Sanders?

8 posted on 03/05/2003 7:07:06 AM PST by GunsareOK (No further comments on guns necessary)
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To: GunsareOK
http://www.snopes.com/travel/trap/congress.htm
9 posted on 03/05/2003 7:08:38 AM PST by dsmatuska
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To: dark_lord
http://www.snopes.com/travel/trap/congress.htm
10 posted on 03/05/2003 7:23:30 AM PST by justlurking
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To: dark_lord
Has this travel agent ever heard of the concept of division of labor? He has a highly developed knowledge of geography. These congress critters have a highly developed knowledge of pickpocketry.
11 posted on 03/05/2003 7:24:18 AM PST by ricpic
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To: dark_lord
One of the defects with this yarn is that the House and Senate each have their own in-house travel office, responsible for both working and pleasure trips for members (with and without their families). If this guy was handling travel for Representatives, then someone else was handling it for Senators. And I am sure that a member from Illinois - no matter how unscientific - would, even before unpacking on her first day in DC, realize the significance of time zones.
12 posted on 03/05/2003 8:18:37 AM PST by DonQ
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