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While we're at it, why don't we just raise Lee Maye up from the dead? I'd think about bringing back Chief Noc-a-Homa, but I'm afraid Moe Drabowsky will rise from his sick bed to launch another attack!

I'd better explain: When Drabowsky was pitching in the National League toward the end of his career, he decided to have a little mad fun with the old Chief - running a string of firecrackers, M80s, cherry bombs, and the like from the Chief's teepee to the bullpen, "waiting," as he said, "for the Chief to surrender."

This is the same whacked-off-his-nut relief pitcher who was such a good impressionist that he broke up a no-hitter with a telephone prank! Kansas City Athletics pitcher Jim Nash was working a no-hitter around the seventh inning or so when he glanced behind him and saw pitchers warming up in the A's bullpen. Nash was so rattled he blew the no-no and the ball game. He was even more steamed when he learned then-manager Alvin Dark hadn't made the bullpen call ordering the relievers to get heated up - it was Drabowsky, who did an impression of Dark so dead-on that even Dark himself was amazed.

Drabowsky, alas, is a stricken man these days. He suffers an extremely rare disease the name of which I cannot remember but which, literally, a kind of cancer which eats holes into his bones and makes it almost impossible for him to walk freely, if he can get up from his bed or chair at all, so I'm told.