DFU SONG: Close to You (Sinkmaster came "this close" to getting Osama) 8-7-02

DFU SONG PARODIES | 8-2002 | Lyrics, Doug from Upland

[doug from upland]

MIDI - CLOSE TO YOU

For 8 years I worked night and day…but he still got away
You must know I really did come this close

'94, WTC…I got mad…believe me
You must know I really did come this close

On the day that missiles flew…you thought that one I really blew
But it went better than I even planned
I killed dreaded camels and strategic tents out there on scorching desert sand

And then our embassies got hit…I got mad…I could spit
You must know I really did come this close

(musical break)

On the day that missiles flew…you thought that one I really blew
But it went better than I even planned
I killed dreaded camels and strategic tents out there on scorching desert sand

I hit their aspirin factory…I got tough…can't you see
You must know I really did come this close
You must know I really did…come this close

Would I lie to you?…I came this close
Would I lie to you?…I came this close
Would I lie to you?…I came this close
Would I lie to you?…I came this close

[doug from upland]

Attn: ping list

Note: to avoid fighting and hurt feelings, the ping list is alphabetical. :) Paul - you would have been first if your screen name was Atreides,Paul. Please, I don't want to hear any complaining.

[Paul Atreides]

Please, I don't want to hear any complaining.

Though some may dispute the fact, I checked my birth certificate and confirmed that I am, indeed, an adult. The only complaining you will get is if you leave me off.

[dutchess]

"Though some may dispute the fact, I checked my birth certificate and confirmed that I am, indeed, an adult. The only complaining you will get is if you leave me off".

The difference is, dear Paul, you are a male and not a PMS female LOL

Doug...I am deeply hurt. I have been "Dutchess" since 1998...but just might have to change my screen name. Is A+Bert taken??? LOL

Okay, never mind. I'll try to take it like an adult.

P.S. Love the parody!

[Looking4Truth]

Note: to avoid fighting and hurt feelings, the ping list is alphabetical. :) Paul - you would have been first if your screen name was Atreides,Paul. Please, I don't want to hear any complaining.

Wahhhhh! Mine starts with capital letters it should be first! :-) Actually probably the other way around based on 'sort order'.

Bumpola.

[doug from upland]

I knew I would start a controversy. You just can't please everyone. :)

[dutchess]

Doug....I've decided you are a controversy in progress..... But we here at FR love it! Keep up the good fight.

a+dutchess (would this work and make me #1 again????)

[doug from upland]

a+dutchess would do it. What if someone puts ~ in front of their name? Would that be first? Or some zeroes in front. I don't even want to think about what that would do.

I think I need to print some of these out on a big orange postcard and send them to the Sinkmaster in Chappaqua.

[dutchess]

I surrender. You having to deal with all this infighting is keeping you from doing your parodies. So...I will accept...I am NOT #1 or even #2...

But I'm way ahead of StarFan! Eat your heart out StarFan LOL

[StarFan]

Well I'll be darned. You made the big time and forgot your very first fan, harumph! (or did dutchess precede me?)

BTW, just came across a newsmax article where they have an audio of the sinkmaster claiming his plan would not have worked. I'm sure it was previously posted, but just in case Hopefully they sent a copy to Time and every other presstitute who might have the courage to report the truth!

[doug from upland]

NEWSMAX HAS THE AUDIO