DFU SONG: Blowin' in the Wind (wench Janeane Garafalo) 7-30-02

DFU SONG PARODIES | 7-2002 | Lyrics, Doug from Upland

[doug from upland]

MIDI - BLOWIN' IN THE WIND

How many beers would it take for you to…do Janeane Garafalo
(Tell me) How many Bud Lights would you have to chug…to tell her please do not go
(Tell me) How many cases of good German ale…before you'd let your love flow
Well, the answer, my friends ---- they don't brew that much beer
The answer ---- they don't brew that much beer

How many gallons of Thunderbird wine…before you'd be drunk enough
(Tell me) Just how much Ripple you'd have to ingest…before you'd go for that stuff
(Tell me) How many liters at under two bucks…to see that wench in the buff
Well, the answer, my friends ---- the world is short of grapes
The answer ---- the world is short of grapes

How many Black Russians would you pour down…to keep from running away
(Tell me) How many quarts of some vodka or Scotch…to say, "I guess it's okay"
(Tell me) How many bowls of 200 proof punch…before you're ready to play
Well, the answer, my friends ---- they don't make that much booze
The answer ---- they don't make that much booze
The answer ---- they don't make that much booze

[doug from upland]

Hey, hey. There are now three people on my ping list.

[Paul Atreides]

Add me.

[doug from upland]

You got it, Paul. We're up to four!

[doug from upland]

Janeane Garofalo: Flag-Burning Chokes Me With Pride

Hollywood Investigator | July 30, 2002 | Marcus Rubyman

Posted on 07/30/2002 2:15 AM Pacific by Commie Basher

Funnygal Janeane Garofalo is "insulted" by Old Glory -- and "chokes with pride" when naked gays burn it! That was her shocking admission to L.A.'s hip & trendy Buzz magazine (which folded in 1998).

In a profile entitled "Don't Tread On Janeane," written by Trish Deitch Rohrer, Garofalo fumes: "Our country is founded on a sham: our forefathers were slave-owning rich white guys who wanted it their way. So when I see the American flag, I go, 'Oh my God, you're insulting me.' That you can have a gay parade on Christopher Street in New York, with naked men and women on a float cheering, 'We're here, we're queer!' -- that's what makes my heart swell. Not the flag, but a gay naked man or woman burning the flag. I get choked up with pride."

[Hillarys Gate Cult]

Reminds me of the web classic;

9 Coronas: http://www.bryanhenry.com/coronas.html

[Henchster]

Modification necessary!

German ale should be German Pils, and you left out the Guinness Stout and the fine English bitters like Fuller's ESB and the famous Donnington's Best Bitter.

O.K., consider it "constructive criticism" and let's get some more brews into the "Who would do J-Garafadoof?"

[doug from upland]

Thanks for sharing that GREAT SONG!

[doug from upland]

I will take it as friendly constructive criticism. Well, how many German Pils would it take for you?

[buffyt]

Please add me to your ping list. I am here right next to Upland, in Claremont, but haven't gone to any local Freep Meets yet. Did Janene G. do something bad lately that I didn't hear about??????

Barb in LACO

[buffyt]

YUCK I used to like her. NEVERMORE!!!!

[doug from upland]

You're on the list. Check Post No. 5 for what she did.

[HumanaeVitae]

How many dead soldiers in the trash, Before you'd bust that a**?

Not enough, although five was enough to write the above doggerel :-).

[ladyinred]

Okay, you have done it now!
I am laughing so hard I can't breathe!
All over television and radio today, all I heard about was Springstein.
Doug, he ain't got the talent in his whole body for song writin' that you got in your little finger!

[doug from upland]

I do okay with lyrics. Come on, we may disagree with him but he is very talented. Thanks.

[doug from upland]

Five beers tonight? It's Tuesday, not the weekend. :)

[rockfish59]

She needs to get 'choked up' by John Holmes!
Add me to your ping list too. =~)

[doug from upland]

I think she'd prefer Joanna Holmes. Besides, he is dead.

You're on the list.

[Contra]

She sounds like the blacks when they're talking about the Confederate flag. If Janeane is insulted by the American flag, then maybe we should ban it for her? After all, if one or two people are offended by "under God" in the Pledge then we could use the same rationale for the flag. I'm offended by her, think there's any chance we can ban her?