Posted on 06/28/2002 1:43:14 AM PDT by Deb
I decided to support the Republican party after years of Democratic faithfullness (this isn't true, but they always start with a lie, so what the heck). It was a hard decision I came to after a long internal struggle (nope).
The Democrats had always been the party of the people, the under-dog, the voiceless (the armed robber), but there was something about Albert Gore that caused me to itch and scratch and occasionally lose my lunch.
What was it?
Was it the lengthy pole up his butt? The inability to tell truth even when knowing how easily he could be found out and exposed? Or was it that creepy kiss (P-tewy)?
Hard to tell. But one thing was for sure...the man used as the model for the preppy, snob with the pole up his butt in "Love Story" MUST BE STOPPED!! He must not be President of my precious United States or Naomi Wolf would be dressing the entire country and we'll NEVER HAVE ENOUGH CORDUROY!!
Oh, sure it bothered me that his father was bought and paid for by Russian agent Armand Hammer, that his "tour in Vietnam" included a babysitter, and that his entire political career had been one show-boating, camera-fest after another, but there was something else.
In truth, I respected the man who invented the internet and brought attention to the abomination that was Love Canal, I can't deny that, and the fact that he lied repeatedly about his father's disgusting vote against the Voting Rights Act was never a huge problem for me because I understand that as a Democrat it's necessary to lie or folks won't like you.
No, the thing that killed my passion for Al wasn't that, while claiming to love the earth, he had a dam opened, wasting millions of gallons of water so he could float down stream in a canoe dressed in brand new LL Bean, while he pretended to paddle...although that was a good one...I think the end came much later, close to the end of the campaign when he strangled that litter of fluffy white puppies with his bare hands.
Call me a sentimental softy, but puppy murder is where I draw the line. Even now, everytime I see a tiny, fluffy, stiff body at the foot of a Democrat, I re-steel myself and say, "No, dammit, I'll never voter for that".
And that's why I didn't vote for Gore.
(But I'm not sure that Steve person will appreciate this oh most excellent parody!)
Girl, you rock!
And this early in the morning....it's gonna be a great day!
You are pithier than Steve, and quicker as well! I'll bet Steve's screed took him WEEKS to get composed, and here you just knocked off a little diatribe with no effort whatsoever.
It's just a shame about those puppies.
It's also good to remind people what the TRUE alternative to Dubya was.
I know Tipper's Mother died, but where did they stash that son?
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