Notes from a parallel universe

Discover ^ | April 2002 | Jennifer Kahn

[Physicist]

I used to be a connoissuer of crank physics theories. My main internet hangout before I discovered FreeRepublic was alt.sci.physics.new-theories on usenet.

The challenge was not in debunking the theories, but in distinguishing between, as they say, "those who strain at the oars to reach Kook Island, and those who arrive by magic carpet with no idea they've made the voyage."

[SWake]

...which promised to help me find oil through the use of divining rods.

I had a water well witched on the farm a few years ago (very successfully, I might add), and as we were finishing up, he pulled out a rod with a butane lighter attached to the end. "Ya want me to see if ya got some gas under here, son?"

I said, "I didn't think there was anything around here. Didn't they try to drill a couple of gas wells over by {politically incorrect landmark} a few years ago?"

The dowser looked down at the ground for a second, then said, "Yeah. I didn't do too well on that one."

[RLK]

But because he's created a self-consistent system of arguments."

---------------

...known in psychiatry as a frame of reference or a closed system of self-referencing hypostizition. It's oneof of the basis's of liberalism and much religion.

[AndrewC]

His theory is girded by mathematics no more complicated than high school algebra.

Thanks, for the humorous heads up.

I discovered the secret to Sittampalam's successful computations.

Here are the instructions for the digital calculator

[MoJoWork_n]

"...a frame of reference or a closed system of self-referencing hypostizition. It's oneof of the basis's of liberalism and much religion..."

Did you mean, "Hypostatization"? The plural form of "basis" is "bases". And it would be as correct to say "many religions" (as opposed to 'much religion') as it would be to note some slight, pertinent differences between "liberalism" and "religion".

Otherwise you are yourself trapped in a narrow diameter, decreasing radius, downward spiral, closed-loop hypostatization.

[aruanan]

All I want to know is, after being neatly and quietly stored, why the garden hose (or extension cord or Christmas lights) always get tangled. And don't say "torque". That's how. I want to know WHY. WHYYY!!

Because you fail to give every loop you add to the growing handful of loops a sufficient twist.

[apochromat]

Maybe you were too quiet. I had the same problem with my telephone cord until I started screaming into the receiver.

[RLK]

I makes some hum-dinger tyois and mis-spellings at this hour of the night, depending upon what else I'm doing and my mood. Now, in the above, tyois means typos, but my hand slipped and i's, o's, and p's are all in the same area of the keyboard. Depending upon how close I am sitting to the monitor, I often don't see the error and don't want to spend much time on a response.

As far as the similarities between liberalism and many forms of religion, they are both anchored in frames of reference. That's why liberalism/leftism and many religious bodies are convergent. Have you ever heard the maxim communism is the only true form of Christianity? Many among the religious community believe it.

[RightWhale]

That is the key to identification of the species. Certainty. Maybe I should hedge that a bit. One of the easy keys to identifying a crank scientist is that he seems to believe his own theory. Real scientists are usually skeptical, especially of their own work. If a scientist is always trying to convince others that he has a great theory, even fellow scientists will give him a wide berth. This probably works outside science as well.

[Junior]

"It shows how easy it is to slip from healthy, even necessary, conviction into certainty and delusion."

Ted, this Bud's for you.

[Orual]

Chesterton said about arguing with a madman, "his mind moves in a perfect but narrow circle".

Also from Orthodoxy.:

"THE Christian admits that the universe is manifold and even miscellaneous, just as a sane man knows that he is complex. Nay, the really sane man knows that he has a touch of the madman. But the Materialist's world is quite simple and solid, just as the madman is quite sure he is sane. The Materialist is sure that history has been simply and solely a chain of causation, just as the interesting person before mentioned is quite sure that he is simply and solely a chicken. Materialists and madmen never have doubts."

[PatrickHenry]

I am in the process of assembling my la-BOHR-a-tory (the family has acquiesced, I think perhaps to avoid uncomfortable questions from visitors and family alike). Then, I shall obtain a la-bohr-a-tory ferret and call him "Franklin".

Your project has my official approval. But a ferret is a bit too energetic, and potentially destructive. Might I suggest that you get a tortoise instead? A lab tortoise is a wise and silent companion, and in a pinch, you can use it for a footstool.

[Rifleman]

Is the little hole marked "Memory Storage" where you park your booger while you are calculatin'?

[AndrewC]

where you park your booger while you are calculatin'?

Naw. That is for the highly advanced serial memory aka "string". The actual storage place for boogers is in the "booger bay", which is the notch formed at the bottom of the palm when the calculator is in use. This can be seen immediately to the left(that is the hand without the rock) of the "solid state" notation on the instructions. If you have trouble identifying the "solid state" remember snake and the letter "s".

As a side note, the model displayed is for the rock holders. There is a version available for the non-rock holders. In a pinch, the rock holder version may be used by the non-rock holders by reversing the calculator, however the annotations are lost and use of the calculator may be difficult. This also applies to the vice-versa calculator. An ambidextrous version can be made to alleviate this problem, but no one has thought of it yet.

[boris]

All Your Sunshine Ray Are Belong to Us.

[Junior]

Arguments crescendoed to uppercase type. Words, boxed and colored, squeezed together on the page like castaways on a homemade raft.

Does this sound like anyone we know?

[PatrickHenry]

Does this sound like anyone we know?

If I think about it, it may ring a bell or two.

[Virginia-American]

I came across this guy's work while checking some relationships between physics and prime number theory. I've never made up my mind whether he's on to something or not. Matti Pitkanen. Somehow, p-adic numbers just don't seem right in physics. Any thoughts?