Failure to recgonize and render proper respect to this man will result in an ass kicking.
All that other stuff may be Coke, but the original is pronounced "Co-Cola."
I liked the part best about Lee. It's true. If Lee had listened to good advice, then the south probably would've continued it's string of victories and could've prevailed in that war.
But god had his hand on us then, that day and determined that the south would lose that day. I honor those in traversed that field under General Pickett. I have no respect for those Americans who don't. I feel the same way about Lee.
I am descendent from those who fought on both sides, although mostly from those who fought for the north. Regardless, real americans honor both sides.
Some people believe that because the south allowed slavery think that they were somehow bad guys. The north allowed slavery until 1820. They're not bad guys.
George Washington, Lincon and MLK counseled us as a people to work hard at binding ourselves together. Lincoln's wife was a southerner and he counseled immediate forgiveness. Real Americans follow his advice.
Some sour people in the northeast wish the south weren't even in the US, that's how bigoted they are. I much prefer living in the south. I live in AZ and very much like the fact that some NE elite consider it a redneck state even though we weren't even in the US at the time of war. US Army that was in AZ served for union side, they call us a redneck state because some southerners live here. It is a big compliment that we made redneck status in their minds.
If you hear some Good Old Boy yell "Hey Y'all, watch me do this!" get out of his way.
Those will probably be his last words and you don't want to go with him. :)
I once called a Texan girl Sissy (her family nickname).
She was pissed.
Yankhater, glad you finally joined up. You will get a kick out of this. Remember when Feldspar ordered rye bread at "The Dixie?" And we all held our breath waiting for Mary the waitress to rap his knuckles?
Why don't you come up here in November, when the anti-everything liberal theives are trying to get re-elected, and HELP us northern country hicks........
KICK THEIR COLLECTIVE A$$!
I look over the menu and I ask her for a Dr. Pepper. Tammy Lynn say: "Sorry, we aint gots that down heah. All we gots is coke."
I call the manager over whose name is Billy Joe (yet another stupid name) and demand to know what kind of stupid hillbillies are they that they would only serve breakfast 24 hours day. Only in the south, I tell them, would you find such idiotic business practices. Only breakfasts? Only coke? Is this a restaurant or a John Belushi cheeseburger sketch?
I ask Billy Joe directions for a better restaurant than his because I'm not in the mood for waffles in the afternoon. And I point out to Billy Joe that his place was way out in the countryside, and that he's loser to place an eatery way out in the sticks and they're all a bunch of losers for living out in the countryside.
Billy joe gives me directions to the nearest Cracker Barrel. Turn right at this civil war monument, turn right at that civil war monument, etc. I said to Billy Joe that I've seen enough of their dumb looking monuments to last me a lifetime, including that carving at Stone mountain. I got nothing but complaints about that stupid looking thing.
So I leave and head for the cracker barrel. I get there and they give me a waiter by the name of Luther. Gads, yet another hillbillie with another stupid name. I tell Luther all about my trip over there from the Waffle House. God, on the way there...it was so dirty and polluted. And, oh! The humidity! Even with my air conditioning, I couldn't handle it. I ask Luther for wheat toast...and he say "we aint gots that." So I ask him, "Well then, what do you have, you stuipid hillbilly that cant speak a proper word of english?"
"We gots grits" he answers. So I say to him, in my best faux southern accent, "Well, then...I'll have muhself a smattering of dem grits, y'all."
He disappears into the kitchen, in the meantime, I watch a dumb hillbilly hold the door open for his momma and refer to her as "ma'am." Such dumb manners. I yell out to them "Hey, why don't you hold open your own door, grandma hillbilly?"
Finally Luther returns with my plate of grits and I promptly put some sugar on it to make it taste better.
While I'm eating my sugar coated grits, I tell Luther how much better things are at home for me up North. I also ask him if there is anything better to eat than grits. Luther says "We gots our barbeecue. Best in duh south. Home made sauce an' evurything over an opun fahre."
I tell Luther "You stupid hillbilly, the proper way to cook BBQ is over a gas jet and then smother it in bottled A-1 sauce."
The doctor tells me that the cast and bandages can come off in 8 months.
In the south, tea refers to iced tea, no matter the season. Once you've ordered tea, you're given a choice by the waitress "sweet or un". If your tea is served without enough ice cubes (enough is as many as will fit in the glass before the tea is poured)you know your waitress/waiter is not from the south. It is a southerner's duty to educate that person by demanding more ice.
That is so true. I can't stop laughing. There are more Ohio license plates than South Carolina plates in Myrtle Beach.