Since I watched that documentary, I have been in pain and turmoil.
I have been trying, very hard the last few years, to find my way to God. I am on a journey to be the type of Christian that I need to be, to show I can put my faith in the Lord.
This kind of thing makes me think I cannot do what is needed to follow that path, because I don’t know if I can put my faith in the Lord to do what is his will on this earth may be, and leave the predations of these vile, unspeakably evil people in his hands unchecked to do as they will on this Earth I inhabit.
I don’t know how I can do that. I am praying, and just did right now, to God, to help me come to grips with this. I feel, in my heart, that I am suffering with my inability to see my path and follow it.
I know that God allows bad things to happen to good people on this Earth. It has always been this way, and it is God’s way, and God’s plan. I understand that and feel it in the very center of my heart.
I feel, somehow, that this is less about me “loving my enemy” to get on that path, than it is about me wrongly, and inappropriately wishing, as a civilized Western person, living in a very, very flawed Western country, to see my country as an arm to deliver vengeance to these inhuman, sadistic beasts.
I understand at some level, vengeance is not mine to deliver.
Those men, women, and children who were brutally slain on October 7th have paid in blood and are not here to witness this, they are beyond that now. I feel that, as a Westerner, in kinship with this nation of Israel, I want to be part of seeing justice done. I feel somehow it is the desire for vengeance that is wrong. I know justice is not mine to administer, but I don’t know how to proceed.
Should I accept that I don’t want to administer justice, or vengeance, but a neutralization by any means possible to keep those animals from doing it to others in this world? In my mind, a country that would do that is worthy and moral, and I would support that. Is it possible that this is the path, that I can reach God this way, by doing God’s will in some fashion that removes my desire to see these vicious people slain.
Is it that lust for revenge that is wrong? I feel it is, but I cannot change what is in my heart. I am no shrinking violet, I know full well the inhumanity man is capable of visiting on his fellow man, but there was something about what these men did to those men, women, and children. I don’t know anything about those who were brutally, and joyfully slain. They may well have been unworthy people of some kind, I cannot make a judgement, but I feel that carries no weight anyway.
It is irrelevant.
But what those Terrorists did puts me on the side of the line that is opposite them. My whole life I have held to an unspoken moral pathway that is less God’s way, but a human way to navigate: that there are three choices in life.
To be a Wolf.
To be a Sheep.
Or, to be a Sheepdog.
And I have never wanted any other path than that of the Sheepdog.
This terrible, terrible thing that happened, as portrayed in that documentary, has mined the deep recesses of my heart, and when I saw those terrible, innocent, helpless victims of those unspeakable vermin who, with great and obvious joy, slaughtered them in the most cruel ways, it made that desire to hew to the job of a Sheepdog resonate in my heart like a tuning fork that was struck with the hard instrument of pity for those poor souls.
Like many men, I am too old now. I cannot pick up the instruments of war to do what my heart desperately wishes.
Is the way out of this terrible box I find myself in that I accept that as a citizen of this nation who may in some way contribute to Israel addressing this without embracing that hot emotion, find myself on the path to God as an instrument of God instead of an instrument of my own human anger at seeing this done to innocent people?
I have been suffering greatly in this, and been in turmoil since I watched that documentary. I have suffered a trauma in my life, and while it was not in the same universe those victims are in, I recognized that this was not some kind of state propaganda put out to bring the world over to the side of the Israelis. I could feel the truth of it. I recognized the genuine psychic pain in them, and my heart just went out, helplessly, to them.
I need to find a way to square this circle, or I feel my journey to God that I have been on will be all for naught.
What could I possibly add to your passionate cri de coeur?
Many of us are in the same emotional quandary. But, in this case, I think, if we wish to survive as a civilization, ruthless vengeance is in order. Islam, throughout its aggressive history, has only paused its onslaught, and that only temporarily, after a decisive defeat. That is what is needed now. Iran, and its savage proxies, need to be bloodily put down.
The best outcome would be regime change in Tehran.
Ordnance Survey of Jerusalem 1865
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d6/Ordnance_Survey_of_Jerusalem_1865.pdf
Page 105 of 206
View eastward.
The road immediately to your left, appearing at 8:30 o’clock position at the left edge of the picture, then running close to center of the picture, then on up to the center of the ridge in the distance, is the northern road between Jerusalem and Bethany. (There is another, southern pass between the southern end of Jerusalem and Bethany.)
That top ridge area of land, is the Mount of Olives, and the grove on the south side of the road, is probably the olive tree grove where Jesus prayed. The elevation is above Jerusalem.
Closer to the camera eye, the road passes by the little white Church of the Virgin [Mary] on your left of the road.
And, on the right side of the road, opposite the church, is the Garden of Gethsemane, where Jesus prayed and was arrested.
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Page 106 of 206
View north-northeast
The slope from the center of the picture, leading up to the walls of Jerusalem, is the original, roughly 12 acres of land that wss The City of David - the area that King David originally conquered.
Draw and imaginary vertical line, up/down separating the right third of the picture, from the left two thirds. Along that line, is the Kydron / Kidron Valley.
About 1 inch to the right of center, is a dark shadowy area. That is the low end of the old City of David, and the location for the east-southest end of the old Siloam Pool.
Pilgrims would camp in the valley and the slopes on either side.
To visit the original Temple Mount that was on the height, short of the wall, and later, the Temple structure up on the more formal, walled fortress, pilgrims would cleanse themselves in the Siloam Pool and then walk up a variety of stairs and tiled path . . . on up to the heights.
The road and Garden of Gethsemane are up the Kydron / Kidron Valley. You could walk up the valley to that road, then go to the right along the road mentioned earlier, or [in the picture, as a reference] go to your right on another road that also would take you to Bethany.
In the time of Jesus’ last visit to the old City of David and of Jerusalem, a tall well-built wall extended from the right corner of the wall at the Temple Mount, down to and around the location of the Siloam Pool, thence, up and to your left alongside the line of trees that lead from the center of the picture, toward 9:30 o’clock on the surface of the picture . . . and then further to the west beyond the left edge of the picture.
In the Bible, during the time frame of the approaching final days, prior to the crucifixion, death, then resurrection of Jesus, He sent two of his disciples to locate a fellow carrying water.
At that same time, the Jewish authorities were anxious to capture him. My theory is, that the two disciples were actually sent to pass thru the gate at the low end of the wall, adjacent to the Siloam Pool. In other words, the gate of the lowest of the low, and the least of interest to the authorities.
Inside the gate, the two disciples found the fellow carrying water. That man was probably the gate house, gate keeper. His gate house would be, probably 100 - 200 feet from the actual gate.
My theory is, that the Last Supper was held on the second floor of that house. The other disciples, the women, and any other guests, could enter thru the gate and get to that gatehouse in the darkness, probably with less risk than the gates up at the main wall of the City of Jerusalem.
Also, after the Last Supper, during which Jesus said that He was there to satisfy the thirst of people, Jesus and those who followed, could leave thru the gate and make their way up to the Garden of Gethsemane, through the Kydron / Kidron Valley.
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The Pool of Siloam
https://www.bibleplaces.com/poolofsiloam/
Pool of Siloam
https://www.holylandsite.com/pool-of-siloam
Pool of Siloam
https://madainproject.com/pool_of_siloam
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Jerusalem area map - 1858
https://collections.library.yale.edu/catalog/15506394
Jerusalem area map - 1865 - including City of David
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/2b/1865_Ordnance_Survey_of_Jerusalem_Old_City_full_map.jpg
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