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"I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas"
(originally by Gayla Peevey)

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
I don't want a doll
No dinky tinker toy
I want a hippopotamus to play with and enjoy

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
I don't think Santa Claus will mind, do you?
He won't have to use
A dirty chimney flue
Just bring him through the front door
That's the easy thing to do

I can see me now on Christmas morning
Creeping down the stairs
Oh what joy and what surprise
When I open up my eyes
To see a hippo hero standing there

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
And only a hippopotamus will do
No crocodiles
No rhinoceroses
I only like hippopotamuses
And hippopotamuses like me too

Mom says a hippo would eat me up but then
My teacher says a hippo is a vegetarian

There's lots of room for him
In our two-car garage
I'd feed him there
And wash him there
And give him his massage

I can see me now on Christmas morning
Creeping down the stairs
Oh what joy and what surprise
When I open up my eyes
To see a hippo hero standing there

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
And only a hippopotamus will do
No crocodiles
Or rhinoceroses-es
I only like hippopotamuses-es
And hippopotamuses like me too

"I Don't Want A Ghettopotamus For Christmas"
("Weirded" by elsie - with a shout out to ridesthemiles)

I don't want a ghettopotamus for Christmas
anything but a ghettopotamus will do
I even take a doll
or stinky tinker toy
I don't want a ghettopotamus to play with and enjoy (really?)

I don't want a ghettopotamus for Christmas
I don't think Santa Claus will mind, do you?
He won't have to use
A dirty chimney flue
Just don't bring her to my front door
Please just leave her at the zoo!

I can see me now on Christmas morning
Creeping down the stairs
Disappointment and dispair
When I open up my eyes
If I see a hateful hippo standing there

I don't want a ghettopotamus for Christmas
Anything but a ghettopotamus will do
A crocodile?
Maybe rhinoceroses
I don't like ghettopotamuses
And ghettopotamus HATE me too

Mom says a hippo would eat me up but then
My teacher says a hippo is a vegetarian*

There' is no room for her
In our two-car garage
Can't feed her there
Or wash her there
And give her a massage*

I can see me now on Christmas morning
Creeping down the stairs
Disappointment and dispair
If I open up my eyes
And see a human hippo standing there

I don't want a ghettopotamus for Christmas
Anything but a ghettopotamus will do
A crocodile?
Maybe rhinoceros-es
I don't like ghettopotamus-es
And ghettopotamus HATE me too

*so is a Bull Elephant!!
*it would take a TEAM of massuses!