[Mrs. Don-o]

Penitent: I confess I became very excited last night looking at an ad for a bacon cheeseburger.

Priest: Alone, or with others?

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Penitent: I confess I failed to reduce the CO2 in the Earth's lower atmosphere.

Priest: How many times?

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Special note to Buckeye: as I understand it, Satan has a 2-part plan:

(1)"I will strike the shepherd..."

(2)"... and the sheep will scatter."

I don't think we should just hand him what he wants.

[DuncanWaring]

You missed “I used plastic straws”.