Ha!
Caves and candles. What the left wants.
Pariffin -- out, because ... petroleum
Tallow -- out, because ... meat by-product
Beeswax -- out, because ... exploitation of animals
spermaceti -- out, because ... whales
candelilla or carnauba -- out, because ... palm trees
Even if you find an acceptable material -- you can't light it, because ... carbon dioxide.