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To: dead
Seriously, 200 years from now, schoolkids should sing songs about this guys legendary cowardice.

When we fought the Yankees and annihilation was near,
Who was there to lead the charge that took us safe to the rear?
Why it was Jubilation T. Cornpone;
Old "Toot your own horn - pone."
Jubilation T. Cornpone, a man who knew no fear!

When we almost had 'em but the issue still was in doubt,
Who suggested the retreat that turned it into a rout?
Why it was Jubilation T. Cornpone;
Old "Tattered and torn - pone."
Jubilation T. Cornpone, he kept us hidin' out!

With our ammunition gone and faced with utter defeat,
Who was it that burned the crops and left us nothing to eat?
Why it was Jubilation T. Cornpone;
Old "September Morn - pone."
Jubilation T. Cornpone, the pants blown off his seat!

When it seemed like our brave boys would keep on fighting for months,
Who took pity on them and ca-pit-u-lated at once?
Why it was Jubilation T. Cornpone;
Unshaven and shorn - pone.
Jubilation T. Cornpone, he weren't nobody's dunce!

Who went re-con-noiter-ing to flank the enemy's rear,
Circled through the piney woods, and disappeared for a year?
Why it was Jubilation T. Cornpone;
Old "Treat 'em with scorn - pone."
Jubilation T. Cornpone, the missing mountaineer!

Who became so famous with a reputation so great,
That he ran for president and didn't carry a state?
Why it was Jubilation T. Cornpone;
Old "Wouldn't be sworn - pone."
Jubilation T. Cornpone, he made the country wait!

Stonewall Jackson got his name by standing firm in the fray.
Who was known to all his men as "good ol' Paper Mache?"
Why it was Jubilation T. Cornpone;
Old "Lost-in-the-morn - pone."
Jubilation T. Cornpone, he really saved the day!

15 posted on 06/04/2019 1:05:23 PM PDT by BlueLancer (Orchides Forum Trahite - Cordes Et Mentes Veniant)
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To: BlueLancer

lil’ Abner! Been a LONG time since that music popped into my head.


54 posted on 06/04/2019 1:45:04 PM PDT by tcrlaf (They told me it could never happen in America. And then it did....ew)
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To: BlueLancer
That's great! I haven't heard that song in almost 60 years! I was working in an off-Broadway summer theatre and we ran 'Lil Abner for 2 weeks. What a wonderful show.

Al Capp was a comic genius. It is a crime he got utterly ruined by anti-war Leftists for his patriotic stance.

74 posted on 06/05/2019 7:11:55 AM PDT by Gritty (An American identity politics campus looks like Jonestown or a Hitler Youth rally-Daniel Greenfield)
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